As long as we’re throwing money at the problem, why not just go for the heated attached garage? Works wonders for me.

Look at you, Uncle Pennybags

Schrodinger’s Feminist

Congratulations, you have earned 100 dillars from Deadspon.

Can I borrow a media credential? Asking for a friend.

I asked my coworker, Tim Brady, what he thought about Trump and his plans for Muslims, and he told me to get the fuck out of his cubicle. Also I’m not a reporter. Can I still have $100?

Even if he’s a liberal purposely sabotaging the GOP, he’s still fucking evil for riling up the 25 to 40 percent of hardcore racists in this country. People are getting hurt because of this pus filled sack of shit’s rhetoric.

I was kind of board with the closet liberal theory, but now I'm thinking he may be an ISIS recruiting tool

I’d better call the RNC for my new Conservative Bingo card. The 2016 version is going to be blackout!

To Republicans, “Black Friday Matters”.

Somehow, some way, no matter how tangential a connection; like the butler it’s always the black people that did it.

How are you in the black?

You sent me down an Amazon spiral of self defense products that I never knew existed! Thank you

I’ve been raped and sexually assaulted. I’ve had my house broken into twice. I’m not paranoid, I’m being proactive.

I actually got them from my mom, who got them from a woman at work selling with a company called Damsels in Defense. I don’t know if you can buy directly from the website or not, but you can check out their website.

I carry pepper spray that has ink in it that is visible under a UV light for up to 72 hours, even if the person tries to wash the shit off. I also carry this tool that can easily shatter a femur or take out an eye with enough pressure. I haven’t had to use them and hopefully never will, but it’s nice to have a little…

I volunteered on a sexual assault hotline for a few years, and you’d be surprised how common stories these are... I frequently talked to women maybe twice my age who had a devastating experience in their teens that turned into drug addiction, depression, and everything in between for years after. And the degree to…

Absolutely! we bleeding heart liberal moonbats we really like reading; and like to see others reading. Come for the socialism, stay for the reading!

You’re welcome I’ll thank my mom and her salted roasted penis