I don’t mean to be a bummer, but I’ve been thinking about this. On Friday I attempted to engage some of my coworkers in conversation about the Charleston murders and only one person made a short reply. I never heard anyone mention it or make a comment all day.

This might have been my ex, who was short, balding, wider than he as tall, chinless and stupid, and one day told me we should marry each other because we were the best each other could do.

“You’re so classy for a Puerto Rican.”

That’s an awkward fit.

Oooh! Bebeh coons! My aunt has a mangrove in her back yard and she throws her leftovers there for a raccoon family that loves her pies and her Puerto Rican food!

When I woke up from my surgery, I had chipped bottom tooth and the dentist only said that my wisdom teeth had been difficult to extract.

You are lovely, such a sweet smile!

Anyone want to go in on this with me?

I haven’t seen the movie yet, does the chrome lip really go all over the mouth?

Love it! I also really like her hai. Crave that haircut!

That’s exavtly were I keep my wigs, too! Keeps them out of reach of cats.

More glasses needed. Also like the forehead color, you could wear that to Wal-mart with nary a side-eye stare sent your way.

Ah. Thank you for explaining.

Here are some of my personal styling tips:

No no no! Bad enough that Sofia Vergara and her atrocious accent is the current representative of all Hispanic peoples.

But of course! She can play you more credibly than you can!

Such pretty nails! What’s the pinky design?

Frankly, I’m relieved to read your response, because your initial comment sounded like you might be suicidal.

Ding dang, that looks delicious! You mind if I get the smallish piece to the left and give you all the olives on it?

Beautifully said.