Roth, I gotta say: you’re my favorite contributor on here.

“Is Aquino Filipino? Cause he’s in the Cor-a-Zone!!”

I don’t think I’ll ever remember that the Chargers moved to LA. In a decade, I’ll see LAC on the ticker at the bottom of the screen and still think that the Clippers are playing the Broncos for some reason.

“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers.”

65% of Charger fans have at one point lived in Philip Rivers’ ballsack.

Nate, your ability to take abstract concepts in an unfamiliar environment and make them tangible for a reader is impressive.  Only the worst imbeciles on the planet are going to think that your writing is overly dramatic here.  My experience with pain and mental anguish in football is right in line with you and I had…

That dude killed two women and a child and spent an hour running around naked, trying to tackle and wrestle police officers, who absolutely refused to use their service weapons against him, and if watching that video doesn’t tell you 100% the difference between how the police treat black people and white people,…

He’s short, he’s Canadian, and he simply cannot be touched.

Unbelievably, I had to correct this from “100% TRUMP supporter” to “110% TRUMP supporter.” 

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

The soccer comments are dickish because Billy has been told the same complaints about his writing over and over and over for years - enough with the ridiculous paragraph-long run-on sentences, the use of fourteen paragraphs to make an incredibly banal point that could have been made in two sentences, the constant…

Rob Gronkowski says he couldn’t sleep for weeks after a fairly routine hit in the Super Bowl

I know where he is coming from, I got a charlie horse the other day, and despite the pain and my body screaming at me to stop, I kept at it and finished that bucket of chicken.

When even Gronk is smart enough to retire, it’s hard to hold a grudge against Andrew Luck

I ate Wheaties once and never won a God Damned thing.  Do you think I have a case?

Rolled my eyes so hard I saw my own brain.

finally an answer to the eternal hockey question of whether a good center makes his wings great, or vice versa

It’s good because I knew from the start that is was coming, and it still managed to deliver. “Turf toe” was perfect pitch. The Magary-style aggressive capitalization works, too.

Be a man!

I know exactly how Andrew Luck feels. I mean, I don’t have a degree from Stanford or a bunch of athletic ability or millions of dollars or a super-high IQ. But I have been booed by people in Indianapolis. And my boss does a lot of drugs.