Making fun of his weight is just picking low hanging fruit, which Christie would never touch, unless it’s covered in chocolate or filling a pie; because he’s a fatty fatty 2x4, can’t fit through the kitchen door.

“It’s just hard to believe the dog was nasty when she took Lamby to every green room with her when Girls was still a thing 4 years ago.”

is this true, or is this afib?

Might wanna check the last few lines of the post, buddy. (Admittedly, I failed to include any made-up dialogue between Bell and his pitcher. Very sorry if you felt put out by having to imagine that yourself.)

To be fair, both are activities where you’re penalized for using your hands...

Emma, you forgot #52, just ahead of Tom Brady: Beinghitby A. Car.

Play was suspended for the rest of the day due to a making it rain delay

I get where he’s coming from. If there’s one thing Russians hate it’s unfairly trying to dictate the outcome of what should be a impartial process.

Do you not wish to do the sex with it?

He had to miss the celebration commemorating the 25th anniversary of winning their first Stanley Cup. He had a game that day.

I kind of really want him to end up with the Pens so he can retire there. Also, I want to be able to wear this jersey again.

Colón is so fat that it literally took Brothers to fill his spot. 

This is really one of those golden opportunities for me. I mean, what if I call and we really hit it off? I’m just saying what if MY call is the ONE CALL he answers out of thousands and we vibe. I feel like we would vibe, me and Jimmy Butler the professional basketball star. It would probably start slow. Like he’d…

There’s really nothing remarkable here. Lots of athletes take time out of their schedule to visit retarded children.

Future chyrons: Disarrays vs. Rays, Tlosses vs. Twins, Custers vs. Indians, Last Bros vs. Astros, Serfs vs. Royals

Nothing to see here. Getting kicked to the other coast is just Manifest Destiny.

I have no disagreement with his qb play at FL and his NFL work was better than some. I don’t care about his beliefs, he can say what he wants. But, he’s not a better baseball player than the kids he’s around. It is impressive that he can do this much, but step off and give some kid a chance. Move to the booth, most…

“It’s time for us to build for the future.” -Sandy Alderson, upon demoting Michael Conforto for Tebow, September 2017