SVP is the anti-Berman. ESPN lucked the fuck out the day they hired him. Not saying he was always great - it took him some time to grow into what he is now - but damn if he isn’t the best part of the network for the past several years.

Many keeping score across the South insisted he was batting .600 after the first at-bat.

I don’t watch ESPN anymore, they were great when I was kid but I’ve outgrown them I think. That said, the only two that would feel like a punch in the gut if they laid off are Bob Ley and Tim Kurkjian. Ley is their go to guy for any serious discussions and I challenge you to find anyone that loves anything as much as…

Break out the Skittles and the dick-holding TD leaps!

“Checking in.”

(Crosses Fingers) Please can Dickie V. Please can Dickie V. Please can Dickie V. And Coachman.

“Please hand in your mustache and your Jerry Jones Stenography Kit.”

This is only a problem because the NFL does, in fact, sleep.

Wimps.

Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Wolverines went to Rome for reasons that are unknown and uninteresting to me.

That announcer sounded exactly like what i expected someone calling a Mulerider Softball game would sound like

“Looks like the shooter’s bullets missed the intended target. If that’s the case, why are there criminal charges?” -Pete Abraham, probably

Capitalism really does a number on some people.

So, how many sports writers who were furious that Yoenis Cespedes played golf during the playoffs and drove a nice car to spring training will try to give a pass to Bumgarner because he’s a good ol’ Country Boy?

As a Padres fan:

Nice to see Greg Norman keeping busy.

Even as a Pens fan, I felt bad for the Jackets for that bad goalie interference call; then Savard crosschecked Hornqvist face first into the pipe away from the play a minute later and I stopped caring.

Also, sun is hot.