Just had a bad work moment, feeling better now.

Seriously, what was in the water on that set?

Eighteen years later and I feel more like this than I did when I was 14. Hooray!

It's the least like traditional Greek yogurts and the most like yogurty yogurt. The consistency is closer to the snot-like consistency of say Dannon Light & Fit than to traditional Greek yogurt.

AHEM, as a possible partial-Greek* person and lover of Greek yogurt, I'd like to point out that John Stamos does not shill Chobani, which is actually good, but that swill that is Dannon's Oikos. It's the least Greek of all of the Greek yogurts.

Really, no Klimpt's The Kiss? I thought that was standard, I definitely had that. Next to a poster of Ben Affleck in Armageddon (I'm talking early college apartment here.). Perhaps Klimpt has fallen out of favor, but here's my interpretation.

My takeaway from the Nicki Minaj story is this, "AIM? Really? Was she communicating with him from my sophomore dorm room?"

I told my last partner that I never lie about an orgasm, it's counter-productive for everyone involved. He was pleased to know that all previous reactions had been genuine. However, this has not always been the case, I have faked, in a long-term relationship, when he was drunk and I'd already gotten what I needed from…

Gone before it's time, it shall rest in all of it's gloriously tacky perfection.

I knew I'd seen that look somewhere before! Diddy, biting xXx's style.*

My mom (once again, thanks, MOM!) has told me in recent days, post-run, that I look like the following things:

I've been getting a lot of compliments on my skin lately, asking what I'm doing different. In my head I think, "Sweating a metric fuck ton." Out loud I say, "I don't know, maybe I got some sun over the weekend."

You are not the only one. How could people not love it?

I feel like this is what I look like, even though it's not even close to true. I do have some Hello! Kitty barrettes, though, came with my travel brush. Regardless, I'm like, fuck it, need hair not in face!

I'm at the "Goddamnit grow!" Stage of cutting off all of my hair last summer (major life upheaval, y'all!) and it growing out. I curse this bob, I curse it and it's whole family!

Here's what I do. Slap some volumizer and vegan coconut mousse shit in my hair, blow dry upside down in the comfort of my air conditioned bedroom. Twist, pin and barrette my hair into submission so it is all pleasantly back from my face in what my mom likes to call "sad librarian" hair (Thanks, MOM!). Spray it make…