I love Declan! I have a friend whose sister-in-law was all like, "I bet you'll name your baby something weird." The woman's children are David, Patrick & Steven. The friend decided to keep mum on the baby name until the boy was born, Gavin was their name choice, not at all weird. She just didn't want to give her…
lucyjae
lucyjae
My stuffed white cat went through the laundry at a Baltimore hotel and had to be shipped back to me. Kitty has never looked quite the same, but I still love him.
I once set a Funshine Care Bear on a kerosene heater. Funshine's whole butt got brown and melty, luckly he (she?) did not catch fire.
It's just one of those situations where I'm going to pretend that all of the things I like are real and exist in the same universe.
There was a particularly scary (scary here means tough and demanding and actually amazing) teacher in the high school where I grew up. When an older girlfriend was describing her to me, it ended with "...and she smells like some women smell when they get their period, but all the time." That's weirdly stuck with me…
There's not a whole lot that can't be improved by the presence of Hank Azaria, if you ask me. I've been mesmerized by the Google image search I did for gifs for hours.
If I could do a wide release of what's playing in my head, I would. It's a delightful way to go crazy.
On a road around where I live, there's a run-down building with the sign "Beiber Chiropractic" out front. I like to pretend it's a little rip in the space-time continuum and that I briefly travel to a future where Justin Bieber is a not-terribly-successful, possibly shady chiropractor. I can Bielib in anything I…
1. When I saw a tweet about Kevin & Danielle expecting a baby last night, I thought, "Wait, do I know them? Kevin from my old job?" Then I saw it was from E! and I was like, "Oh, riiiight. They are not at all relevant to my life."
Love an Arnold Palmer, you should see the embarrassed way people ask for it at the restaurant I work at. It's like "Dude, I will make you and AP and I will smile while I do it, just don't ask my ass for a cherry Coke, because the Grenadine bottle is always fucking sticky! You want cherries in your cherry Coke?!?!…
I was all like, "Hello, John Isner, you incredibly tall drink of water, you!" So sue me, I like 'em tall, the taller the better. Then Google image search gave me this as his primary picture and I felt dirty:
Holy jeebus! That sounds like the woman I know who bitched about Hawaii because of all the fat and Japanese people she saw.
I get to be a little bit allergic to all airborne allergens. It's super-duper fun being essentially allergic to air. I also found out I was allergic to my stupid lotion. When I went off of my antihistamines for yet another round of testing, I broke out in an itchy rash like tiny pimples all over my body. And, AND, it…
Unless it doesn't. I had cats growing up and I wasn't allergic to cats. Then, after not having cats in apartments for years, but still having them every time I visited my parents, I got a cat and boom! I tested positive for cat dander allergies when a new allergist tested me. I had previously tested negative. I mean,…
I have a cousin who looks like chubby Matt Damon, want to trade? Although, his wife just got her full commission as a Naval officer, so she might be tough to take out.
My dad is a long-time Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap user (what up, fellow children of hippes!), I learned the hard way that if any of it gets near your lady bits, not just in your vagina, but the vaginal doorstep, stoop and sidewalk, it will burn like a mother. Maybe I'm just more sensitive, but that stuff might be…
Wow, my moving choices were between 9, 10 and Savannah, GA. I'm going 9, if I'm going to go bro, it's going to be a brodown, bucking bro-nco style. I'm aware that last one didn't work.