Oh, I don't know, our little Skitter Boo is pretty badass. We found her in the engine of my dad's old (non-functional) truck after a hail storm. Actually, our dog located the source of the crying. Poor thing had an injury and had to get skin grafted from her belly to her side last week and still purrs like crazy when…

Ugh, maybe if I tell someone at my second job tonight that I'm working 2 jobs and freelancing to save up for my big move this fall, they'll tip me that much. I would also very, very much like to see the look on the bitchy head bartender's face when I walked up and asked her to give me my credit card tip overages. It…

I actually had my last fellow tell me he didn't realize TED was a romantic comedy until he was watching it with a group of guys and wished I was there. Like he could almost feel me snuggled up to him watching it. *Sniff* The fizzling out of this one is still smarting. However, my response was that is was of course a…

I'd argue that the 80s & 90s titles you listed were just legitimately good movies all-around. I think people won Oscars for Moonstruck, right? Cher? Then just like anything that becomes popular and is relatively inexpensive to make, Hollywood will just churn out crap until people stop watching it. And, the more you…

Like this cinematic masterpiece?

Aqua Ragweed? That's like 2 slaps in the face, one because I'm totally an Autumn, and one for my seasonal allergies. Thanks a bunch, Bey Bey Name Generator.

Can I just say that my mind was blown when one of my friends mentioned that she was Derek's sister in Save the Last Dance? Short, curly hair plus bad acting must have thrown me off. You've come a long way, Olivia Pope. I mean Kerry Washington.

Oh, see Jeremy Piven is the Piv. I say PIV like pee-eye-vee.

It's okay, Lindy, we don't even know what we argue about. Let's don't wait til the water runs dry, we might watch our whole lives pass us by...

I thought the exact same thing. Is it from the tabloid the Kardashians have on retainer?

I can't see him without seeing his Ghost death scene. I was at a very tender age.

Oh, T-Pain, I have never before, to my knowledge, felt your pain.

Well, yeah, generally I want to fuck someone I'm attracted to, and it would be just super if they would also like to fuck me.

So fucking sold. There's no network that does trashy-soapy like the CW does, I mean, Scandal is fun, but so highbrow.

Hey, some girls are really good at blow jobs by prom, okay? Or boys, some boys too.

I was searching for words, but sure, that works!

Was it like a van van or a mini-van, because a van van can fit a butt-load of people. Also, I can make no Schmidt-related gif promises. I can't find any positive teenager gifs, so I commend them and give them this:

Ok, let's go.

Can we also have alcohol? I know we won't need it as much, but I still love a margarita from time to time.

How about: