I got to have lunch with this kid yesterday:
lucyjae
lucyjae
One time, in college, I let the words, "Um, because my boyfriend bought the keg." come out of my mouth in an incredibly bitchy tone at a party when a guy asked why I thought he should give me a cup for free. I still cringe when I think about it. Grown up people using "Don't you know who I am?!?" or some variation…
As a former Philadelphian, I've marveled at the idiocy of Sheinelle Jones & Mike Jerrick before, so that really say something about how dumb America's Hottest Douchebag really is. I'm surprised they didn't bring Jennaphr Fredrick in on this, I'm sure she would have had something stimulating to add. Also, I miss…
Cupcake sandwich. My aunt's bakery. Every flavor. Now. Get in my mouth.
My boss just came in lamenting that he hasn't had carbs in 36 hours because of this jump-start diet he's doing. I did no evil laughing as he ate his ziploc baggie of raw broccoli for breakfast. Oh, no, wait. I did.
I was about to ask if the bad, greasy ponytail was an Ohio thing, or a girls-who-sit-outside-to-group-pray thing, but then I saw it was stock. Regardless, what the fuck Ohio? Have you learned nothing by the prevailing wisdom on teenage psychology? Tell them not to do it and they are so going to do it. Teach them how…
I once found a kitty out by the dumpsters in the apartment complex I lived in. Someone put her in a carrier, with the end up so she couldn't get out with food and litter in it. It was a complex with a lot of older people and I figured that someone either got put in a home or died, and the asshole that was charged with…
I love a meeting a celebrity story, like the time I met Carson Daly outside of a work event and decided to give him the same businessy spiel I had been giving attendees all day. Or, how good Jay-Z smelled. I guess what I'm saying is, never let a pair of trolly clown shows ruin your fun, because you me Simon Pegg,…
In my experience, more than you'd actually realize. I mean, they may not vocalize it as well as Mr. Pegg, and maybe I'm just lucky, but most of the men I know and count as friends are pretty great. Sometimes they might need to be reminded that they've said something that isn't cool, but in their actions and actual…
That angel Simon Pegg was tweeting about this just a few moments ago. Basically saying men should use it to educate themselves about the shit women go through every day, so that they could become better men. He's a gem, that one.
If anyone finds a Danskin catalog from the 80s, I may or may not be in it. Some of my childhood friends are definitely in it. I think it was Danskin, one of the costume catalogs we ordered from wanted real girls in it. Ah, pageant youth.
Oh, LL, I remember when the ladies loved you, when a smile from you could light up the darkest day. When you would lick your lips and the panties of the world would drop. But, James, I have to tell you, you aren't looking so cool anymore. I bet your momma would tell you to knock yourself out, or possibly go back to…
Joan Rivers is now fully the standard for too much plastic surgery. My mom just got a Lifestyle Lift, and real talk, she looks amazing, and even more so as the weeks pass and her face settles, or whatever. But, she got it the week before Easter, and at the family Easter dinner, which she didn't attend, I was getting…
O HAI Brad Paisley! Look what I found, it's a Skynryd t-shirt that would invite no hurt feelings from any particular racial group. You might piss of pirates for the appropriation of the skull & crossbones, or perhaps Neil Young, I hear he's still upset about the "Sweet Home Alabama" diss, or even really big Edgar…
Checking in from Pennsyltucky, and yeah! It's weird and ridiculous, especially within my own family. Like, you guys, I did the genealogy research, I have actual records of our ancestors enlisting in the UNION ARMY for chrissakes! Not a one went south and fought for the Confederacy, but you go ahead, blood-related…
I thought, his death coming so quickly on the heels of his announcement that his cancer had returned, that maybe he just thought, "Enough. I've had a good life, and I've fought hard enough for long enough, it's just time to let go." He was a brilliant man with, by all accounts, a beautiful spirit, I can't believe how…
Reese Witherspoon had to get brown hair, you guys, this is a serious movie about serious things like developing friendships with Sudanese war refugees. Serious people have brown hair. Seriously.
The first 2 things, I was like, April Fools, right? Then Lindsay Lohan + Adderall + rehab = truth. Sadface.
Because my dad is a selfish, irresponsible jackass, I have to take most of Wednesday and half of yesterday unpaid. No sick time for this girl. What up, doing marketing in the construction industry!?! :(