How dare you compare me to a bird, sir! I prefer the term avian!

Thank you, I have. I'm stronger now because I believe in my ability to love myself enough to leave.

Be fair, I countered your objection.

lol, cute. Narcissistic to the point that you expect your friends to live up to your standards. To where you assume that your need for the truth is more important than their need for space or privacy.

Because it's impossible to tell if a relationship is truly healthy or not unless you're actually in the relationship. A lot of things are different behind closed doors. My husband didn't beat me, sorry if that was misleading, but he was very verbally abusive and would display threatening actions, (throwing things at…

No, I don't think that's a rationalization. Live and learn, I say!

It almost becomes more embarrassing. The better the relationship is, the more you're like "oh god, why did I put up with that crap before?!"

Ooh, lord I'm not saying that friendships should be conditional, but maybe not quite so many conditions as you have. I guess you and I probably wouldn't be friend then, because I would get very irritated with you sleuthing around my divorce, trying to pry into the reasons of my very personal decision.

dear God, WHY is there a cancel button if it's going to just post it anyways! I was going to say "who expected a woman to take care of them"

Goodness, you're fussy, what with your conditional friendships. So you're saying, if you and I were friends, and I got a divorce from my husband. And if you asked why and I said, I don't really want to talk about it, it's private, you would then say, friendship's over, I can't discern if your motives were pure, and…

Well, for one, was it that she didn't want to lose her wedding, or was it because she felt a lot of pressure from her family? I mean, regardless that's a tough reason to feel a ton of empathy for, but at least the second reason, I can understand a little.

That's the worst, right? I promised myself that I would never be with someone who

Well no, and I think you're taking that to an extreme to make your point. But if someone decides they don't want to be in a marriage, they don't have to apologize to me about it.

I little of both. It was affirming to know that other people saw it, but it's also very, very embarrassing to be reminded that you were a terrible judge of character.

Thank you!

Also, thanks for your psychoanalysis that I can't be alone.

Thank you! I didn't rush, I met my fiancée shortly after the divorce, but took time and kept it slow because I wanted to re-establish my independence and work out that baggage I had picked up from the marriage. I think people make up too many rules about what's okay and what's not.

Mostly it has been aunts, uncles and grandparents. My grandmother is upset that we're having a large wedding. She thinks I should just go down to the courthouse. The aunts and uncles are people who have been married for 30+ years, happily or not. They see me about once a year, so I doubt their intentions are deep love…

But if someone meets a person they would like to commit to, should they wait? Or say no, because they're in their 20's. I think people make too many rules that won't apply to every individual case.

Nope. Friends should support and love their friends. Unless someone did something directly harmful to you, they don't owe you an apology for their lives.