Bro-dozers and Teslas. Two sides of the same douchey obnoxious coin.

So much this. Obese mullet guy / Obese mullet guy’s obese mullet girlfriend - it’s time to move on.

Let’s face it. If you’re dropping $125k on any sports car you’re going to look like a douche. You might look like less of a douche with certain cars but that’s them breaks. Here are my suggestions:

yes, this. The Segway was supposed to change the world.

It was a sporty car that wasn’t sporty, a hybrid that didn’t get very good gas mileage, and an economy car that wasn’t economical.  It was 0/3 on the things that it was actually trying to accomplish, and as a result the sales numbers were pathetic as well.  In all honestly, this is probably one of the biggest flops…

The Type 41 Bugatti

This was wonderful. Start to finish. 

"money doesn't buy happiness" well money buys everything that makes happiness possible so..........

As I have gotten older, the phrase “money doesn’t buy happiness” has steadly climbed the ranks of “dumbest shit I have ever heard”.

My favorite article this year.

Can confirm Montreal. Me and Mrs. BirdLaw attended in 2015. People, price, venue, weather, are all top notch and welcoming as can be. The rumors are true, Canadians rock.  Plus, do you think at Miami one could get this close to a post-race Hami?

Yeah, this is the kind of take I still come to Jalop for. I don’t know of another car site that would be willing to publish something like this, thank you.

I had wonderful experiences in Montreal and Austria! Everyone I met at both places were SO welcoming and so friendly, even considering any language barriers! 

He hired the bestest artist eva.  And got a great deal, such a great deal, a deal like no one else...

Miami was Walmart Monaco. There, I said it. 

Honestly what ruins this for me is the “waterside” seating below “sea level”. It could have looked semi-cool if they had built a platform for the tables making it look like a deck right above the water level, but instead it just really amplifies the cheesiness of the fake water to have it just end there and then have…

Why can’t I stop staring at that photo? It’s horrifying, but I can’t look away.

It’s bad enough that that whole place is trashy and tasteless, but could he not afford a proper artist for the ceiling? That fresco looks like a bad cartoon!

It screamed guci belt, slides, and glasses to me. Loud and tacky, like that one guy that is stuck on party mode his whole life. It also instilled a rivalry of my track is better than yours. #AustinGP4lyfe

He agrees.