My dearest wish today, because I don’t want to see anyone actually get physically hurt, is that it rains like fuck all damn day, and that no one lines the streets for the parade, so Cheeto Jesus will have to walk down Pennsylvania Avenue waving at nobody. It will enrage him.

Ten bucks says Trump didn’t have a clue who John Lewis was til Friday. I absolutely believe he said something close to, “I like black men who don’t get beaten.” Because he revels in being an ignoramus.

That was sharp. I discovered John Mulaney last year (yeah, where have I been?) and he’s just spot-on. His description of Trump as a real-life cartoon of a rich man was fantastic.

Man, not making Trump Grille their last review before Gawker went under is a damn shame. That was my single favorite feature on Gawker.

That...is a really good rule.

I also remember reading this story about McCartney sitting in with a wedding band in Tampa. It just reinforced my love of him:

I love this story. I love being able to continue to believe Paul is charming.

I’ve always heard it’s the C-list celebs who invariably try the hardest to pull the “do you know who I am?” act.

I really want this story to be true.

These people are all about commerce. If there isn’t a way to make money off it or slap their name on it, then it’s of no value. The fact that she’s hoping to commodify environmentalism and figure out a way to “brand” it to sell more of her stolen-from-real-designers clothing tells you everything about what’s really…

“She intends to file lawsuits against everyone she believes to have either slandered her or printed libelous comments.”

The only bright spot I could see - if it’s one at all - is that all the crazy shit that’s about to go down is all on the Republicans now. They have to own the economic collapse, the soaring unemployment, the drop in health care and the subsequent ill health of Americans, the wars their president (not MY president)…

Your mouth, God’s ears.

I can’t even look at photos of him without feeling enraged beyond the ability to articulate. I am so afraid, in a way that I think my male colleagues don’t get, but some of them at least know that it’s more personal for the women. The other guys keep joking in a “laugh to keep from crying” way. I know they’re upset…

I really can’t work up a head of steam here. I’ve said before that part of the reason I’m voting for her is because Clinton has taken 40 years of men shitting on everything she does and taking credit for her work, and still she gets up and gets stuff done because she recognizes that someone still has to do the work.…

Seriously. At this point in this dumpster fire election, anyone who’s pointing out that Clinton is vastly qualified, Trump is a lazy idiot and anyone who thinks differently is a fool is fine by me.

Can he please just stick around and be president for one more term? I swear, Santa, we’ll be so good if we just get this one wish!

Those emails better be Clinton’s to Huma saying, “DUMP THE MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE ALREADY.”

What’s honestly depressing about your ignorant comment is that 13 people have starred it. You’re a piece of shit, as are those 13 equally racist, ignorant assholes.

Doesn’t matter how hard she works. He’s still never going to pay her.