“44, you’d probably guess, assuming each president would be crazy not to have had sex with his wife at least once during his term”

“an enthusiastic former Chopped champion”

Well, I do put my semen samples in a tissue and bury them in the garbage can.

Cummy-eyelids profile description sure is...something:

Surely with your flexible schedule you could have stretched this story out some more.

“What’s news?”

How dair(y) they!

Good one.

He loved to brag how he had larger rallies than her. If the popular vote was a rally, hers was bigger.

She’s lucky to have sewervived.

Should have led with “sir”.

“he is the most engaged individual I’ve ever met”

Just wait for the signs that University of San Diego students make ahead of their game against North Dakota State on Saturday.

The book is The Little Dictionary of Fashion. Was trying to work it into a joke, but couldn’t think of one.

Since space might be the safest place for Jews now, Part 2 might be a reality.

Hey Jill Stein, I’m pretty sure that’s already an option. It’s called “not voting”.

It’s about time a team started using my NBA 2K17 strategy.

“That was pathetic.” - Chris Boswell