Now Drew can spend the whole day giving us fashion tips without it looking forced.

Sarcasm is better with an element of medical accuracy.

I’ve seen and really don’t get this argument. My last name has been my last name from birth. Just like it was my father’s last name from birth. Is it more “his” last name than mine because he’s a man? Or because he’s older? It’s not “my father’s name”—it’s a whole bunch of “Keyser’s” (men and women) names. Including…

Dysentery?! Did you happen to buy it from the Oregon Trail McDonald’s?

He’s gonna send Denton pictures of himself circled in gold Sharpie with “See! Not a rotting pumpkin pie. VERY FRESH.” written on them.

I don’t know what it tastes like, but I know what it feels like when a bae leaves.

A girl from a modest financial background reporting a rape by a multimillionaire to the police. LOL.

You would think that any reasonable, non-racist person would be able to make an exception for executive orders and/or other federal intervention where the enslavement of human beings is concerned. “States’ rights” my ass.

The media didn’t change the rules. The cultural revolution and feminism changed the rules; they redefined marriage. Women deserve so much more than to be sold into marriages for social and political reasons to a man who will neither love nor be faithful to them. They deserve more than suffering the humiliation of…

No, that gives her too much credit. She’s someone who’s willing to peddle the same lies about business and economics as Republicans because, to her, they’re secondary to her faith-based horseshit about gay folk and women.

She isn’t a well meaning idiot. She is a bigot who is willing to work with people who she knows hold the same hateful bronze age values she does.

Lulu Larceny.

Her?

This is shade isn’t it

You were hands down the easiest Jezebel writer to warm up to in years. I’ve missed you, and I hope you and Allen (‘poor Allen’ is my fav Jez meme ever) have the best life together ever.

Exactly how much more are you thinking she should accomplish?

First they came for the sugar
and I did not care
because I had already given up sugar
Then they came for the carbs
and I did not care
because sourdough is expensive
Then they came for the meat
and I did not care
because really I prefer fish
Then they came for legumes
and there was no one left

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go yank one off quickly.

Fun fact: In America we also have Freedom of the Press, which means you can’t legally get in trouble for beating someone to death with a rolled up newspaper.

Act like a lady, completely fuck up like a man.