It’s perfect! He sends Jared off to the Middle East “and don’t come back until there’s peace!” Donald will finally have Ivanka all to himself. Maybe she’ll move into the White House, what with Melania staying in NYC...

Lauren,

Me too. Could easily be some drunk women are horny and looking for sex. Celebratory moods make some women want sex? It’s ambiguous and I’d want to look at more than one tweet to determine a pattern and meaning. Trump’s are part of a long term pattern and are consistently bad to aweful.

Yeah, someone’s going to have to explain this one to me because I don’t see how it’s all that bad. Is it because the girls get... Drunk? And that makes them prey? Because that’s really not how I’m interpreting this.

Don’t do that! If he finds out what internment camps are he’ll definitely try to reinstate them.

Every fucking thing out of Trump’s mouth requires 8 or 9 people to follow up and try to explain what he REALLY meant. It’s amazing for a man with the best words. I would love for someone to ask one of his post-explainers, ‘Why is it that everything he says has to come with footnotes?”

Tom Cruise was right — Matt Lauer is glib.

You know, when I’m at a party or event, I am usually surrounded by women who are hotter than me.

lol no. No, dude. I am here to tell you. No. Eta I hope no one gives you stars

Not necessarily. Plenty of guys are secretly convinced their perfectly average penis is way too small thanks to porn.

Per the people of tumblr:

Not seeing how this confirms her comment that he was wondering if she was fuckable or not??

Maybe if the reporters used flash cards of a marshmallow, a child or dog that would help jog his memory.

MAKE MEXICO

It’s no surprise that Rudolph understands what it’s like when none of the others invite you to play.

“It’s OK, he wasn’t mocking that journalist, he was mocking *all* disabled people! Stop being so sensitive!”

he was doing a standard retard, waving his arms and sounding stupid

Hey, when I punch you in the face later after having a couple cocktails, you can’t prove I knew you wouldn’t like that.

This would be a good troll if Desi_Relaford hadn’t already pulled it last night.