Yeah I’m not salty about the Cubs winning, if anything I hope they’ll shut the fuck up about it. Good to see successful sports in Chicago no matter what.

Phillies claim Morandini. Source: my 13 year old self in 1993

Very true. The sports fan and human being in me loves seeing this--I’m a sap for this sort of stuff. But the fact that it’s the Cubs fan base makes it sort of insufferable. And batten down the hatches, because it’s going to get a whole lot worse. They have fed on their own tormented psyche, the close calls, the…

I’m begrudging overly performative fandom, yes

You know who didn’t fucking do this? White Sox fans, after 88 years. We had some dead family members too but didn’t caterwaul about it endlessly.

All these fawning Cubs pieces; I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Who writes the “Fuck the Cubs and their fans” piece? My money’s on Draper.

We are the state of Michigan and we approve this message.

Your father’s generation also had The Osmonds and the 1910 Fruitgum Company.

That’s what coaches and faculty advisors are supposed to be for.

Southeastern Ohioan born, live in Columbus now, and you can annex Cincy and its stupid poison chili into its own country.

One of my teachers, back when I was in school, used to say all the time when discussing the law, “We don’t have a justice system. We have a legal system. When the law and justice intersect, that’s a happy coincidence, not the baseline”.

This comment is Sublime.

I liked that song about his mom smoking pot, hitting the bottle and the crack rock. “All Star,” I think it’s called.

“It was a sloppy, messy, nasty affair.”

I avoid ties by avoiding high-paying jobs that require me to wear them.

That is interesting. I’m also left-handed and right-footed, so I know those aren’t always linked.

They aren’t puking, they’re saying “Renuuuuka....”

He’s doing a year-long Skee Ball marathon...

Dude, I’m a Maple Leafs fan. I get it.

You tweet with a lisp.