It’d probably be a little easier to shoot with if it wasn’t covered in Old Bay.

If the first 15 seconds of this video were a face, 10/10 would punch it.

1. It’s human nature to enjoy your successes rather than prefer to wallow in your defeats.

The press made Cam a millionaire? Not the fact that he’s 6'6", 245lbs, with a rocket for an arm, world-class athleticism, and a proven winner at every level up until time he was drafted and became a millionaire? Very interesting theory you’ve got there.

I will admit I was pulling for Cam to complete a breakout season, but I really had no dog in this fight, as a Browns fan. Honestly, why is it such a big deal that Cam left the press conference? “You can’t do that” is the equivalent of an adult telling a child “because I said so.” It’s not disrespectful to the…

If nothing else, I appreciate the mugshot, bc I haven’t seen T-Pain look straight into the camera since he cut his dreads off.

That back tat couldn’t be any....*pulls sunglasses off*... Messier.

Martin O’Malley looks like the a guy who would be cast as President in a made-for-TV movie.

How long before people (the league) realize Byron Scott is a garbage coach? He hasn’t coached a team to more than 25 wins in almost 6 years. He hasn’t made it past the 2nd round of the playoffs since ‘03. At this point, he’s nothing more than a grumpy old man standing aimlessly with his arms folded across his chest,…

The Triple Day-Day.

What. The Shit. Was that defense?

How is Bat-boy checking out “his” Malibu, when that Malibu backs up during the fight?

If you’d rather sit in the shop making no money, as opposed to making your normal runs and getting tipped a normal amount, maybe you should just stay your ass at home. Call off if the money is not motivating enough for you. Or, get a new job. I’m not tipping you a shitload extra just because I happen to want a pizza…

I just really appreciate the fact that JJ Watt took enough time off from chopping wood outside of his secluded log cabin to make this very face-punchable mascot.

You’re ruining it.

+1 for puns. -1 for not using axin’.

IF YOU DON’T FUCKING WRITE SOMETHING SOON ABOUT “REAL FRIENDS” COMPLETELY NEGATING THIS WHOLE ARTICLE I’M GONNA SHIT.

Alex Smith. Ambiguous first name, common AF last name. No reason why it couldn’t be plausible.

Ant Davis got $145 mill based on “potential” having accomplished nothing more than dragging a team to the 8th seed in the West (which is really just a 10-day extension on your regular season). Brooklyn’s paying Joe Johnson $25 mill to make 4 buckets a night. Meanwhile, Kobe’s the 3rd leading scorer in NBA history,…

Yeah, especially based on all those big performances he’s put up in the playoffs previously. 13/161/0 in 3 years.