I would hope they have high-capacity shitters as well. 

Nah, roadkill isn’t that expensive.

Do they sell handcuffs in size Small?

Putin, at Maralago, with pee-pee tape, in exchange for Alaska.

Disagree; the noise should be inside the car, telling the driver “Hey fucknut, watch out for pedestrians!” Preferably in Gilbert Gottfried’s voice.

Zoom in on the monster seats and you’ll probably see some of that. 

COTD

Bercow is the only one coming out of this not utterly covered in shit.

Loudest sound is the key fob rattling around in the beverage holder.

Invade my borders, mon chéri

Maybe he's just pining for the fjords?

I do hope he calls his kids into the house before he lets loose with the AR.

Hey, don’t forget the paint.

And while those unused cars are endlessly circling around the city, maybe they could pick up riders who need to make a short trip. We could designate pickup spots, and maybe make it free for seniors. Next thing you know...

Uber will activate surge pricing, then everyone will give up and go back to their waifus.

Maybe he’s jealous because they won the popular vote?

Man, I am soooo deficient in this area. I’ve only realized it in recent years, but at age 50+ I feel like it’s just too late.

(a) Citizenship question will not be on the census (b) Stumpy McStumpfingers is having an absolute shit-fit over (a).

Am I the only one who gets nervous when the German government starts talking about tanks?

Should he have been discharged from the team?