I personally want to thank Fernando “the ass clown” Alonso for backing away from his helmet during the national anthem.

Don’t go asking questions like that of journalists! Do you think they have time to report facts such as this? Are you not satisfied that it’s a new record? Smashed is smashed. Whether that is by .0001 seconds or 1000 seconds faster...... :)

Genius is oft decried as heresy by those who are butt.

Well, at least there’s a valid reason for your bad takes.

Jim Tomsula, is that you?

I hold the marshmallow in my hand over the flame of the Bic lighters the have at the 7-11 counter. You gotta walk around the aisles while you do it though, or they’ll catch you and take the lighter away and the mallow won’t get burned enough. gotta bring your own marshmallow too, they won’ tsell you just the one.…

Oh, good grief. The kid will go back to sleep. It is not everyday you get to hear an engine like this. Live a little and enjoy it. And yes, I am a dad too.

Here is my constructive criticism:

They have kids, so thousand-dollar repairs and sudden dealer trips would be a significant burden.

WTF, no opinion on diagonal staples? So much better, and less chance of tearing.

Do you even dyno bro ??

A more cost effective and visually appealing solution would be to just cover it with a giant paper bag with holes for the windows and 87 exhaust pipes.

I heard that is what they say at the end of FCA board meetings.

A couple of years ago me and my brother were at the AFC Championship game in Foxboro. There were these drunk assholes(unbelievable, I know) standing in front of us for the whole game. The guys in the row behind us, one of which looked like what would happen if Sasquatch got fucked by a Viking, was getting more and…

Poop under leaves is the worst. You forgot stepping on leaves on top of poop creating poop-skates. Also see rotten fruit for the same effect.

It would probably quite spacious for him, statistically speaking.

“Used Magnums”

That’s because that’s the correct fucking answer.

I don’t know what ‘drizzling shits’ are, but I suspect it might have something to do with ‘morass’.

Took my daughter to Ross Dress For Less. Jesus Christ, it was the most disorganized quagmire I’ve ever been in. My kid was in there FOR TWO HOURS looking through the morass. But it made her happy, and that made me happy.