I’m starting to wonder if DeSantis is actually David Morse in 12 Monkeys.

They’re the Long Island Ice Teas of the South Pacific.

They LOST, about time they got over it.

I’ll go to my grave believing that The King’s Speech won by a single vote.

Several years ago I saw a commercial for Newsmax TV touting itself as the true conservative network, mentioning “Fox News” and “liberal bias” in the same sentence. I knew it was a race to the bottom from there.

Everything about the trailer felt like a modern YA/Fantasy bingo card.

His father had Alzheimer’s, it’s genetic. 

“but I have a feeling if I asked him it would turn into a 20 minute lecture about something “the liberals” are doing instead”

Most of my family are those people, so I can say it.

When my Floridian 80 year old Dad admitted it was real, my first thought was, “Aha, so Fox has flip-flopped on this.” 

Someone he personally knows probably got it. It’s the only thing that gets through to those people. 

Even weirder, one of their bedroom games is called “Splash”.

(Rubs some on gums) “This shit’s been cut with Tang!”

Sounds about right. A mouse or other rodent chewed up the rubber lid seal on an slow cooker in my basement years ago.

And the “recognitions Award” goes to...

Thanks to the local grocery chain’s annual Monopoly game, I had a ticket for a free 2oz bottle of the house brand hand sanitizer (timely, eh?). I get to that aisle and there’s a large empty gap in the shelving where it should be. None of the liquid hand soaps around it, just the Purell and it’s generic equivalents.…

“I love hotdogs because they don’t kill cows for hotdogs,”

Conversely, I was just at a Circle K which had Marshmallow Peeps flavored non-dairy creamer. I could only imagine peeling back the foil and seeing a bunch of the little eyes floating at the top.

Awww geez. Now I’ll have to wait till Thanksgiving dinner to hear my conservative family complain how the new 007 movie (which they didn’t see) is “too politically correct” because someone on Fox News (who also didn’t see it) said so.

As a Chicagoan I’ve yet to hear about a right-winger assaulting a Polish speaking individual and screaming “Speak English or go back to your own country!” and there’s no shortage of Polish speaking individuals here. I wonder what the difference is?