I held it together for most of that, but the bit at the end, where Sam thanked Madam President for showing her daughters that they can do anything, and that the world won’t magnify their faults and ignore their virtues because of their gender, I basically lost it. I really wanted Hillary to be President for about a…

Remember that scene in Antichrist where Willem Dafoe happens upon the fox that’s eating its own guts, and then the fox says “chaos reigns” in a demon voice?

“Adult roommate” is such a perfect description of my dad, if by “roommate” you also mean someone who doesn’t pay rent consistently, never cooks, cleans, or wants to go out. My dad nevers want to spend any time with his four kids, even when we’re all home. Seriously, he can’t even be bothered to watch us all open our…

Yeah, this one is gonna be more along the lines of “Rip out your heartstrings and then yank on them so hard you get up and do the fucking Sobbing Watusi so fast it would put Gepetto to shame” kinda flick.

Oh, what? Now all white people live in the city? What is it with you bastards? When is enough enough?

I’d been doing this too until my neighbor complained about the weed smell. Now I’m back to being completely miserable and misanthropic.

True story:

How about you go fuck yourself with a broomstick, you close-minded nut sack?

She fucking killed that debate and I am drunk and a nasty woman and also i love bad hombres and fuck him and i ate a burrito and several cookies and maybe like a whole bottle of whine or wine or shit or omg i need to go to bed even on the west coast i am a mess omg i hate trump o hope he dies ifn a fire

Dashed in here to make sure to be the first to say ...

Anyone else think it’s weird that no one is talking about Haiti?

In my head, I can’t stop singing “my little bull dyke, my little bull dyke” to this tune:

Meanwhile we’re cool with the human version of Dr. Teeth saying Trump is the healthiest man alive

For me, Rock vs. Vin Diesel is no contest. Vin Diesel has had my heart ever since I heard he taught Dame Judi Dench to play Dungeons and Dragons on the set of The Chronicles of Riddick. That is so unbelievably adorkable.

I’m not on Twitter, I only know like 14 people so I just talk to them.

SEE??? I found this picture by googling “mean cat” and that’s what she fucking looks like, a mean cat.

Elizabeth, played by Heida Reed in the TV series, falls pregnant.

Did you hear that sound? My underwear just dropping to the ground.