It's hard to tell through all the typos, but he has a point. The article talks of "Miami's 98-85 win over Memphis;" the only problem is that Miami won 98-85 over Charlotte. It would have been no mean feat if they had beaten Memphis in the first round of the playoffs considering they aren't even in the same conference.

"Into the stratosphere" is right. Ginobili nearly came out of his shoes.

Either that or he's trying to get a jump on grooming his future slaves.

Sheesh, who are these people? Maybe I'm just oblivious but if I know any militant shoplifters they are keeping that shit to themselves.

I'm sure at least a few of them would probably throw up a #lolkarma hashtag and pretend it didn't bother them whilst internally seething with impotent rage at the grave injustice committed against them.

That's a needlessly polite way to describe them.

Not to mention a stupid fucking asshole.

I suspect that very few people of any gender would be able to drink an entire bottle of vodka in a single night without getting shitface drunk.

One Weird Tip to Ruin Drinking

Paris. Gare de Lyon. There was a group of maybe half a dozen (one woman and four or five men) of what I can only assume were homeless people. One of the men had two deep, open cuts on the palm of his hand. The woman grabbed his hand and started spitting on it repeatedly before wiping it with a filthy handkerchief. I…

14) The only way to stop a bad guy with a lightsaber is a good guy with a lightsaber.

The lowest of low blows, but seriously, fuck that guy.

Sashay is such a great fucking word. And I'm with you re: Elliott Smith.

I missed the editing window on my last comment but I wanted to add that, other than the silly portmanteau, this piece is nothing if not excellent. Jezebel has the best writers on this whole site. Keep up the great work.

(or fauxternity, if you will)

I won't. All these needless, fatuous portmanteaux springing up all over the place are malignant linguistic tumors.

Ah, OK. Makes sense. By the way, thanks for answering that question without being a condescending twat.

"Pine tar, sunscreen, whatever… it's not there to help the ball sink, cut or do funny things. It's a tool to keep it from flying out of your hands."

Maybe I'm overthinking this or just don't know a lot about sunscreen, but isn't sunscreen oily and slippery as all hell? How the fuck would that help you get a better grip…

You do appear to be quite adept at making baseless inferences, I'll give you that.

I have a feeling you're going to take a lot of shit for this from people with dull reading comprehension skills and sharp axes to grind.

Thanks for the info. Until I read this story and a lot of the comments I had no idea that people actually make the liquid themselves. I'm positive that I don't have the time or patience for that, but I think it's pretty damn cool that some folks are so industrious. I'd like to find a good one and maybe ween myself off…