I go to Alamo Theaters. I will have you thrown out for talking or texting. It’s a pleasure and the policy of the theater I like to exercise. Whine to them that you’re too special to care about the rest of the theater for your precious texts

Thankfully Alamo Drafthouse will kick people out for using their phones during a movie. I don’t go to them, but it’s a great policy.

Hard no. The whole point of watching a movie in the theater is to be in an immersive environment free of distractions. The ideal experience is supposed to be in the theater.

I can guarantee that nothing you will ever do in your life is so important that it can’t wait 90 minutes. If you are in the midst of a crisis you can stay the fuck home.

Maybe you stop looking at your tiny screen and focus on the giant one in front of you. I may spend too much time on my phone—just ask my boyfriend—but on the rare occasion I go to the movies (and I rarely go because tickets are fucking expensive), I turn my phone off when the lights dim. I’m pretty sure there’s…

You are a garbage person.

Sorry, but it’s hard to focus on the big screen in front of you when there is a small, brighter, glowing screen much closer. Unless it’s an emergency, it can wait. And if it is an emergency, well then leave the theater.

Of what value is human decency anyway?

1. The coffin lid was open

Let’s congratulate Serchin for becoming the oldest man to die climbing Everest. You did it!

I wish his obvious remorse (he looks like he’s been crying) was for his victim instead of his own predicament.

Isaiah Thomas Will Beat You And Then Embarrass You

#NEVERFORGET

There would have been beautiful singing and awesome drumming, if it was. I suspect wine coolers, as well.

I feel like this festival was put together by Prestige Worldwide.

I really want a job as an influencer. I recommend fruit flavored seltzer water, mixed breed dogs, never wearing shoes with Velcro, and Fun Dip Lik-a-Stix. Does anyone feel influenced? Give me a dollar.

I’m gonna guess you’re one of the human beings living a miserable life.

You’re probably a really fun person to have a drink with.

I figure you are trolling but honest answer looking at humanity and looking at dogs, I will gladly spend my resources on my pet.

When Golden State gets three wins in a series, it’s over. Shut it down.