Too bad it was a man who felt legitimately violated. I hear the female body has ways to try and shut that whole thing down.

I mean, violated isn’t always sexually. Like I feel violated when my douche bag neighbor throws a few extra revs on his harley when he gets home late at night.

I mean, those were some pretty fake-sounding moans.

“I felt violated, and my body said wait a minute, this ain’t right. So I was uneasy.”

I recently had a layover at the Stockholm airport and there was this group of guys having some sort of scavenger hunt in terminal 5 (past security). They were dressed in costumes... a ski bum, a surfer, a giant baby, a cowboy. I was like THESE SHENANIGANS WOULD NEVER FLY AT O’HARE.

I’m guessing because there are so many regulations for baby furniture? Like if you buy an adult queen size bed frame from them and it’s $25 and it falls apart in 2 weeks they are just like yeah, that’s why it’s named kerrplunken.

I hate to be “that guy,” (OK, fine, I don’t care), but whenever people say “are you two pregnant?” I always respond with, “No, but my wife is.”

I hate it so much if I ever get pregnant and the father of the baby says that “we’re pregnant" I'm going to run away with the baby and never see him again

I too dislike the “they’re/we’re pregnant!” construction.

I wonder if Swedish royals also go to IKEA, look at their baby furniture, and then go, “WTF why is it so expensive?!”

I KNOW WHO THEY ARE!!!! Mostly because Sweden has the most absurdly gorgeous royal family in the world. I adore looking at pictures of them.

I’m not convinced that churches are “fleeing to the suburbs” because they’re being persecuted, but rather because all their congregants are moving out there and prefer to attend churches closer to their homes. Of course parking is a nightmare if no one lives nearby. Your one morning a week doesn’t get to dictate city…

Boy says to his dad “can I borrow the keys to the car”

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!!!!!

In the 2007s, in the men’s powder room of WEHO hotspot, Le Deux, I saw Spencer Pratt drop le deuce in the sink.

He recorded with David Bowie at a time when his inhibitions were pretty low, and I can’t think of anyone who might have seemed more attractive or smarter. He did lots of drugs with Paul McCartney when Paul was “the cute one.” He knew the Warhol crowd. He was close with Mick Jagger. The idea that he never knew a man…

I think a lot of people are able to be sexually aroused or intrigued by people they would never be drawn to fucking. So Lennon had boycrushes, and gay fantasies, but never really pursued them — and for all we know, he never would have. Or maybe he would have. Who knows, the guy is dead.

I mean, he married Yoko, so I’m not sure he’s right on that either.

I know a guy who’s both gorgeous and smart, and he talks a great game about being “spiritually bisexual” but the truth is, he’s really not into dick at all. Okay, his own, yeah, but nobody else’s. I think some people (and he’s one of them) like to feel edgy about being *theoretically* attracted to both men and women,…