Damn, hooking a 23-year-old in your 50s. Way to go, girl!

And the genders will end up reversed because Hollywood.

This isn’t new, it’s just new technology. Back in the day, I sent a carrier pigeon who ended up getting lost and flying west instead of east, and the result was a beautiful, long, sustained pigeon-exchange. We celebrated our seventeenth anniversary in August.

Ughhhhhhh they bonded over The Secret? I hate them so much. I’m not even normally that judgy but that book is THE WORST and it’s garbage hippie prosperity gospel for garbage thinkers.

Anyone want to take bets on how long it’ll be before someone turns this into a failed tv-sitcom pilot?

So, we had an entire table of my husband’s relatives no-show to our wedding. It was concerning because, while his cousin was currently said to be clean, we knew he had a history of substance abuse and so we knew this was a possibility that he wouldn’t come. We couldn’t be sure if he just...forgot he had to be…

I can see them at home absolute FUMING about this and trying to figure out a way to “get those bitches back.”

If Baker didn’t tell the couple about her last-minute absence, that is indeed uncool.

OMFG YAS! My personal favourite part of Jawbreaker was Marilyn Manson’s uncredited cameo.

I hate how they having KeKe Palmer act. "Hi. I'm obviously black. I can't just be your friend, I have to be your token ethnic 'sassy sidekick'." Not my Akeehlah, you don't.

I’ll tell you who needs a makeover, Grace and her fug hats. Every time she appears on screen in some aggressively plaid newsie cap like she’s about to sell me a paper or go golfing I have to physically restrain myself from trying to reach through my screen to snatch it from her head.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” she said. “Get out of my house.”

sweet baby jesus, people like this are fucking insufferable. get better friends.

A good friend knows whether it’s time to lie or time to tell the truth.

I know way too many Demi Lovatos. 9 times out of 10 it isn’t even shade when they say the stupid shit they say, it is just “Me, me, me! Oh god—you’re looking over there! Don’t look over there! Look at MEEEEEE!!!!!”

I will always love Demi for saying her favorite dish is “a mug, because they’re very comfortable in your hand, they hold hot things that you don’t have to touch. You know, coffee or hot tea.” That is an awake mind with limitless potential.

It’s national Coffee day? Ok, let’s give this dirtbag a shot of caffeine: Coffee-fied celebs.

Is he really a pastor with a congregation and all, or just a random person who needs mental health services? And no snark meant, as this is not normal behavior from a contributing member of society, a society that needs to help people, not lock them up in a cell as an answer.

“If America does not stop supporting Abortion. The Judgement of God will hit bringing earthquakes, war, famine ,plagues &.economic collapse”

Fashion gives zero fucks.

Forget tatami, walking inside at all with shoes on is disgusting. I don’t want all that crap outside tracked all over my nice floors.