One time, I was at a zoo. I saw a person climb into the tiger's habitat. The tiger was sleeping. The person proceeded to poke the tiger. The tiger continued to sleep. The person shouted out to the rest of the onlookers, "Hey, look, I can poke the tiger all I want, and nothing will happen! In fact, I bet that I can…

I am greatly pleased by this rumor, as this mobile cellular device will help me in my various vampyre hunting and emo tween dispersal needs. Thus obviating my planned purchase of a fleet of Audis.

Mr. kozjegyzo,

I will not rest until Apple releases a version of OS X that is named Ocelot. I’ve never seen an Ocelot operating system. Although perhaps the better name would be buyer’s remorse. Either way, if Apple doesn’t change from these big cat operating system names they’ll soon be in the … Tim… Tim… TIM!!!!! Danger Zone!

I am heartened to see this most illustrious site post more political articles recently. I have been greatly disturbed by the amount of venomous commentary and needless trolling that has transpired in the articles about mobile cellular device platforms. Neither the partisans of Apple nor the partisans of Android will…

While I think that all is fair in love, politics, and jai alai, I have to question the usefulness of this neologism. While I have no great love for Mr. Romney, other than acknowledging his undoubted moral superiority due to his ability to acquire and maintain large amounts of capital, I will note that this invented…

After reading the stories du jour, I see a simple, easy-to-understand, correct solution to the day's problems. In exchange for Congressman Waxman dropping his spurious, mean-spirited, and mustachioed investigation of Apple, Mr. Cook should dispatch an elite Delta Team of patent litigators to Iran, to enjoin with great…

Mr. revolverx,

Ever since Apple introduced this new authentication measure, I have noticed the following when using Siri on my older devices- in response to every query, Siri responds, "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

While this story seems very complicated, I am certain of one thing- this is a crucial piece of evidence that supports the fact that my preferred political party is correct, and that the other political party is a bunch of corrupt liars that have stolen elections by raping dead people and digging up graves.

It is clear why this story is being advanced now. It is yet another attempt by the living to oppress the one group that has been denied their rights under the Constitution- the dead. Were the dead to be afforded full civil equality, as guaranteed by such dead luminaries as Alexander Hamilton and James Madison, we…

i dont need a phyusoical kjeyvoard, my tocyuharreen wokrs juswt fine.

I would like to make the following points-

I am shocked and saddened to see that Fox News would turn on one of its own. If Fox News will not defend the rights of corporations, then who can we trust? I demand that Mr. News immediately send this "Shep" character (who, truth be told, sounds like a refugee from a Fraternity party) to the penal colony of Australia…

I am shocked that there is fraud in an imaginary currency traded on the internet! Forthwith, I will place my hard-earned ducats with respectable organizations, such as on-line poker establishments associated with inveterate gamblers.

Mr. Helixthe2nd,

Mr. Mox Factor,

Mr. Straightsix 9904,

Mr. Mox Factor,

I think this is brilliant. Samsung is getting the market ready for their next series of phones, which will sport the same-sized (Samsized) screen.