I mean, I kind of thought it was a collection of poorly translated fever dreams passed down and reinterpreted through a centuries-long game of Telephone by people who were convinced that their imaginary friend literally talked to them from the sky, but we’ll agree to disagree.

Fajita: noisy taco.

A quesadilla is a flat taco.

It’s not.

I recall seeing a calendar reform proposal which structured the year into 12 months of 30 days each, with a 5-day holiday period (6 days for leap years) tacked on to the end. It’ll never happen, but how awesome that would be. Fuck this Gregorian nonsense.

You need serious help.

*audible groan* +1

Thus is the wonder of Schroedinger’s Green Room.

I really like this piece, Barry. I get this sort of ambivalence in many different flavors when watching the NFL. Like that Greg Hardy - what an abusive scumbag, what a OMG THAT WAS A GREAT SACK GO HARDY. It’s a terribly violent, incredibly exciting, emotionally confusing sport.

Is there any active player who is a more wanton, blatant dick than Talib? He seems to pull cheap shots and shit like this every game I see.

None of us know either, so no fucking way I’m leaving the house this weekend

Would that make him an aggravated defenestrator?

“Carson ain’t just a fancy-pants doctor! He tried to STAB a man!” *shoots guns in the air*

It’s okay. Since we’re admitting shame here, there was a moment during one of the early 2008 GOP debates when I looked at Mike Huckabee and thought “hey, this guy seems reasonable”.

You may want to get your internal monologue checked

Right, but that doesn’t mean that you need to give them additional money to throw away.

Because this is totally intended as legitimate legal advice, and not as entertainment. Everybody knows that people come to Deadspin’s sub-blogs for strictly factual information.

Look how I STAR this comment

Fortunate that we can pay you in stars on a piece work basis. USA!