This is what I did with my own siblings and it worked superbly. By which I mean that neither are drug-addled wrecks.

Or Balvenie, or Macallan.

I am a huge scotch fan. I do not like Lagavulin. Too peaty/briny for my taste. Islay isn’t for everybody.

Perhaps he should spend some of that money on a haircut rather than having his mom do it

Kind of a redemptive tale, actually. He had a moment of clarity and he’s sticking with the program now.

Even if it’s fake, it’s an AMAZING story

Kind of a bummer that it wasn’t a direct quote!

Always so friendly! Perhaps TOO friendly.

That appears to be the correct mugshot for this headline.

“...don’t believe the folk in white coats until the man in the white hat hears from the guy with the white beard. Could take a minute, maybe millennia.”

Sounds like he’s just a complete turd.

So is Foodspin just dead forever then? It was one of my favorite subblogs on all of Kinja.

You know, the funny thing is that if you told me that you had a gay friend named Dallas Black, I would immediately assume that you were lying no matter who you were.

Canadia has religiophile nutbags too?!? SURELY YOU JEST SIR. Next you’ll tell me that it doesn’t rain maple syrup every Tuesday. Hah!

I notice that the older I get, the more fascinating this type of legal nitpicking becomes. Anybody else or should I take this as evidence of a brain tumor?

Hate to tell ya but it still does thanks to these tireless ignoramuses

We could send Huckabee a couple bags, a ball gag, and a bunch of coupons to a nearby gay club. That might be fun.

That last one is a stroke of genius

I liked how my wife’s doctor put it: “If you get tipsy, so does the baby.” Which is both logically sound and a good way to know when to be done, but also requires a level of self-control that I suppose some people might have trouble with (though those people would probably drink regardless).

They are, in fact, so bad that they’re pinning their hopes on a child abuser and an 8th grader who takes his uniform cues from Mickey Mouse.