You must get a ton of use out of this one

Fuck Christ accepts your praise

I cannot ever see Roethlisberger’s face without thinking that he must be some kind of long-running Eric Wareheim character.

New offices are hella confusing

Soft landing, though? Fuck that. I wanna make me a crater.

You’ve at least skimmed the Old Testament, right? “Asshole” doesn’t even come close.

I do not want to agree, but ugggghhhh... I have to agree

Does giggling at infomercials for 3 hours count? Then running out to buy all the stuff required to make something on the Food Network only to realize that none of us remembered what it was? Then ordering a pizza and beginning again from step 1?

Actually I have had some pretty decent afternoons begin that way

This is why any proposal that begins with the words “Bro, we should totally...” ought to be immediately dismissed.

I went to school with an “Aarik”.

Proceed now that the rest of us have ruined it for you

SHUT UP YA HIPPIE ‘MURICA #1

Excellent trolling

I worry that it would get mangled quickly into “doo-shoo-ner” which sounds like you’re trying to insult someone in Dutch

That’s the best part... it’s a freelance gig! No interview required! Get on out there, you self-starter you!

Just as importantly, is that pronounced “doosh-SHOE-ner” or “doosh-SKOO-ner”?

Oh, I dunno about that - there’s a lot of machismo bullshit rattling around the military. My point is simply that if anybody should be able to deal and do their job regardless, it’s an Army Ranger. That’s exactly what they’re trained and famed for.

Let’s also keep in mind that these are ARMY RANGERS. They are badass human survival machines, and she's worrying about them getting a sad?

All it would take is one brave, strong, psychopathic woman!