You make some reasonable points about sexual expectations placed upon women, but they’re off-target here.

Me either but it lives forever now.

Don’t take her out to dinner.

+1 Football Butt

That seems like a somewhat extreme case but I admire your tenacity in calling him out

This is the best possible plan. If the person is in an abusive relationship, it gets them a resource they might need. If they are not, this is still a superb form of shaming. “Honey, you were so awful to that poor server that they thought you MIGHT BE BEATING ME.”

Starring this because that’s a punishment worthy of Greek tragedy

Dang Burneko. I miss your writing on Foodspin but have to admit being impressed with the last few much more serious pieces.

Y’know I hadn’t even considered why, but that makes a ton of sense. Mostly I assumed that my child must have inherited a truly horrifying tolerance.

My wife and I got horrifically drunk the night before her positive pregnancy test. All is well. Even her doctor told us that it’s really not a big problem when they’re early on, just don’t keep drinking after you’re aware of the parasite.

This is fucking brilliant, regular feature please

Sam Biddle also apparently classifies banana bread as a side, which should tell you everything you need to know about his opinion on this matter.

Dear dining public:

Probably something to do with how many lawyers play the game, no?

Mostly they were angry because somehow he managed to throw 3 interceptions

I am trying to figure out wtf is happening in this photo... is he suckling a pork chop like a popsickle?

Anybody who needs an app to figure out how to drink is doing it wrong.

Wow must be tough to see your keyboard

Only if he worked for a rival company tho

Nah, babies are just an excuse. The real goal isn’t to eliminate abortion, it’s to eliminate birth control altogether. Because “be fruitful and multiply” or whatever such rot from a book of thousand-year-old half-remembered fever dreams.