Albert your highly coherent bile always makes my day

Poop terror is the best form of protest

God yes that is prime Twitter.

Mostly by cutting up other species and putting them in buckets that print photos

I would add only “WE WILL KNOW”.

HAH. Take it from an IT professional, you’re hosed.

This gets my vote for being the new Gawker Media policy.

But WTF am I supposed to do with all my dismembered baby parts then? I mean, not even on eBay?!?

You ever seen footage of the Zimbardo prison experiment?

A modern rebuttal:

I am okay with the concept of buttered coffee. It’s kind of a Scandinavian thing, I guess; this guy’s contribution seems to be that super-trendy coconut bullshit. (Can we all admit already that coconut meat tastes like soap and coconut water tastes like used bathwater?)

Don’t forget to direct some ire at the asshole who brought the bottle. Fireball doesn’t haul itself around, and the sooner we shame its proponents the sooner we can end this scourge.

On phone, Kinja works you

A rebuttal: if Walker gets elected, Jezebel can spend the next four years referring to the First Couple as “ScotTonnette” (which obviously is pronounced “Scott-on-it” and which should be his campaign slogan). Worth it.

“That... is a... great question”

Think of it this way: that way we know for certain whose political opinions can be ignored forever. Back that horse and we should take away your votes for your own safety.

GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR FACTS

Controversial opinion: dried apricots are delicious.

+1,000,000 take a bow

Low’s version of this one is still my favorite: