Don’t care that it’s not even 10 AM, this is going in my face

I hate to tell you, but that appears to be approximately half a cat.

Don’t mistake this for worry. This is literally the best I can hope for, but I never have to download Tinder, so it’s clearly a net win.

Look at this GLORY BOY.

Times have changed, man. I give silent thanks for being married every time I read one of these articles, and I will continue to do so until the moment that our first child is born.

This is like the baseball equivalent of Nihilist Arby’s. I approve.

You have named exactly all of the nice things about Iowa.

You goddamned savages.

Seems easy enough. I turn beer into sewage all the time!

If you’ve got a stick blender and don’t want instant carpal tunnel, Serious Eats has a really easy method. Also, a thermos is a perfect place to keep the sauce at serving temperature. You can drink from it too but your roommates/coworkers/random passersby will be horrified.

Many domestic gose beers are quite mild. Schell’s here in MN makes a Goosetown seasonal that is my go-to easy summer beer. Very approachable, like a light wheat beer with pleasant crispiness.

Unless there’s a glitch and it clenches so hard that it chops off your peen.

I showed this to my wife and her response was simply “yeah, that’s kind of a rugby thing.” I thought I knew this woman.

This is a way in which Minnesota is awesome. Local IPAs are just as common as anything coastal around here.

“Hey look at my vagina-beast walking and poorly attempting to articulate its nascent thoughts! I SHOVED THE HEAD HOLDING THOSE THOUGHTS OUT THROUGH MY VAGINA.”

Did you notice the “subtle exposition” part? As silly as it is to have any backstory in Mortal Kombat games, this is a pretty mild way to draw attention to any character’s sexuality.

This. Everyone in the meeting holds their tongue, not wanting to be viewed as juvenile or puerile by everyone else. But they all see the dong, because the graphic designer put it there as a little “fuck you”.

Thanks for the unbiased opinion. I've been avoiding this strictly due to the marketing bullshit but this actually sounds like a beer worth drinking.

Except that you need a fucking jackhammer to crack ostrich eggs.

This is something that anyone standing in any line to order any food at any place anywhere should do. It is a basic human skill, and if you cannot manage it, you shouldn't get to have food.