Fellow San Franciscans, I've seen things you people wouldn't believe...

feeling smug about not being "killable by any man"

When will MIT stop to consider their actions? Robots than can get up if kicked, robot snakes that can wrap around our arms, robot birds that can fly and now a chair that can build itself?!

There was this guy today at the cafe, where we were the only two people in the room, and he kept on staring at me, while I was eating, doing homework, and using the phone. And as I was using Tinder, I saw his profile, it was quite racially charged and full of fetishization (think confederate flags, Yellow Fever,…

but it looks like digestive juices, which they usually secrete when eating

Now to get a job that allows 6 weeks off for bed rest. Hmm maybe I should run for Congress.

You broke his back and shoved his head up his own ass...can you blame him?

Is he giving us the bird?

So they're invented sweet onions?

When he's underwater does he get wet or does the water get him instead?

Come to Canada. The reason American chocolate is so bad is because US law allows Hershey to cut out cocoa butter and other milk products and substitute cheap gross oils and other emulsifiers. In Canada, you can not pull that shit as Hershey learned the hard way. In Canada, chocolate must contain milk AND cocoa butter…

It's not even a catchphrase. It's like a mental illness.

ur life sounds rly hard

Well "Jimmy" is also a slang term for Penis (although not really used anymore), so it really makes perfect sense. But Howard Johnsons would have been funny too.

Personally, if I can muster up the ambition, I get up and go read a book in another room for a little while. It almost always puts me to sleep. Otherwise I just whine about it.

It is a lot cheaper to have a bunch of tool chests with a few tools in them than it is to leave a wrench in an F-16 engine.