I don’t believe in special treatment. I want all the opportunities this country has to offer and I want to share all the responsibilities that brings.

Locomotive Jones appreciates your invitation.

Locomotive Jones is slowly falling in love with you.

Locomotive Jones is ashamed to admit that he smoked dope tonight.

Right now you do but I expect you’ll go back to making me disappointed in humanity again tomorrow.

His posture and his strutting around the stage just oozed “Damn I have missed this....”

No more of this hero worship bullshit for soldiers.

Unpopular opinion: I think that song is fun

Again, I wish you were this funny all the time.

Oh we goin’ to war. Believe you me, we are going.

Do not use Locomotive’s personal friend Tommy Lee Jones against Locomotive Jones.

He’s boozin’ it up. Jacks got him by the balls.

When he starts talking in 3rd person you know he blew a fuse.

so what you’re saying is, 6 months is the longest you’ve ever been in a relationship with a woman. ;)

In this argument, it doesn’t matter what women feel in childbirth. As a man, there is no way I can conceive of passing a baby through my urethra or my ass without intense, excruitiaing pain.

It’s pretty much the only thing to do, giving me constant orgasms in my nightly wet dreams about you.

Locomotive Jones would be honored if his Commander In Chief cleaned Locomotive’s penis with his mouth. Nothing gay about personal hygiene.

This is not okay unless first women receive equal pay in any and all work forces, are guaranteed choice and access to safe abortions in every community, and are assured that they will be treated seriously and with dignity and respect if coming forward to report sexual assault (and this includes that a conviction will…

3 conscientious objectors earned a Medal of Honor champ.

Hopefully it would be earned by an ied that blew you into many bits.