Zeta Chi.... Zeta Chi, my friend... 'Neath the elms we sing our tome, we're brothers to the end...

This is Harvard, so this is how many parties he'll be attending...

They got nothin' on BTWHSftPaVA..

I think the more shocking revelation takeaway from all these Tweets is this:

(+7 second conference)

Kimmy would make a great Crosswits Stick Girl

Just like Daddy, he loves to be seen pointing and gesturing at random shit, as if he has something unprecedentedly profound to say about, say, paddleboats in the mockup poster....

Goddamn.. that must be horrifying for the engineer, not being able to see if you're maybe about to hit a fucking car stuck in the snow, perhaps.... train don't curr!

They really should coöperate on a solution...

Feh, I got your Nostradamus right here:

Yeah, I was thinkin' John Candy from Vacation moved up from WallyWorld security to Dallas PD...

The Wiki vandals are on the case already:

Suffice to say, NBC production crews never show squat...

Aw. Look at lil' internet-tough guy, randomly throwing useless shit in a response to a post from 10 days ago... Go back to your YouTube comment fights, kid.

Waitaminute.... Wasn't it revealed that Whoopi Goldberg was the surprise voice of Maggie during the ep where she spoke her first word or some shit? (Christ, that's reaching in the depths of my brain's "completely useless TV trivia facts" wing (well beyond the Jeopardy! audition prep hall).

RIP, Phil Hartman...

Of course not, but when the fuck does that stop anybody from coming forward with anecdotes, especially to some talk show or blog? Do you doubt the parade of 22 Bill Cosby accusers because none have presented any proof he raped them/drugged them/fondled their toes?

Seen 'em. I mean, I'm not one to rush to "They're Photoshopped!"-type judgment, but if one has the time and talent, it's not entirely a stretch. I just like to err on the side of hoax, since we (collectively "we", readers and Gawker alike) have been fooled so many freaking times by hoaxes way more believable than…

Seen 'em. I mean, I'm not one to rush to "They're Photoshopped!"-type judgment, but if one has the time and talent, it's not entirely a stretch. I just like to err on the side of hoax, since we (collectively "we", readers and Gawker alike) have been fooled so many freaking times by hoaxes way more believable than…

Yes, I've acknowledged that people do exist with this condition; what I'm saying is, if this guy is willing to lie about the most banal things in his memoir, how can we even believe the most egregious thing purported to be about him?