Yeah, I suppose — it’s just that I’ve been obsessed with trying to get a contrabass clarinet forever, and even the shitted-up ones on Ebay are all listed for no cheaper than $3000 .. maybe the sellers are all delusional, but there’s never any “deals” .. then again that ain’t your typical middle school band instrument..

Well... I mean... c’mon, there’s gotta be at least Ben Carson and maybe Herman Cain?

When I was a kid, the TGI Friday’s we used to go to had a big fucking tuba mounted on the wall above a couple of tables, and I remember the bell always had this thick layer of dust on top of it ... so, two thoughts:

“Sad!” = Donald Trump proves himself to be a trendsetter once again!

Well, let me tell you my little tale... I wasn’t quite a newcomer, but was at a local “online education” company for maybe a year until these corporate goons came along and bought the owner out for a cool $49m. So now, the staff (there was maybe 30 of us) were going to become employees of this super-stereotypically…

“-1!”

This is the first time I ever clicked on a Sponsored Post (morbid curiosity as to how Miller Lite could be artistically woven into an article about music festivals), and the results didn’t disappoint! A casual generic throwaway sentence at the very end that could’ve beem tacked onto virtually any other article:

If you’re not rooting for your kid’s little league team you’re an asshole. It’s forty year old men living and dying with the tiny sample size performance of a bunch of teenagers passing through a school they went to twenty years ago that I think is dumb. Pro sports are dumb too, but it’s a dumb that I get, and to me…

In a more perfect world, adults who were sincerely emotionally invested in the success of an amateur athletic team would be scoffed out of mainstream society. That Kaine cares about college hoops at all is sad; that he seems to be displaying a continuous lifelong allegiance in the face of external logic is, within…

“And we’re gonna build a wall to keep all the other regions Pokemons out. cause they’re not spending their best. they’re sending their dunsparce, their Bidarel, their ledians. AND SOME I assume, are Goodras.”

“Mr. Trump, are you playing Pokemon Go?”

Here’s the funny thing: 3rd Eye Blind is most known for that horrible song “Semi-Charmed Life” with that terrible hook (“Doot doot doot! Dooty doot doot...!”) and I bet all these dummies who wanted to hear their favorite mainstream Adult Contemporary song probably had no idea what that song is about — I’ll never…

I see your airplane disaster movie and raise you this bad boy:

Ishtar on an infinite loop!

+1 Jackée

How many NYC rats were killed on 9/11? I’m counting rats that were in the building, or rats living right below, or in the surrounding sewers.

I’ve actually bowled there! Not well, but I did. It is easily the nicest place I’ve ever bowled, they do everything right there, lots of attention to detail. Sadly, they built it in the 7th circle of hell, so I don’t get out there too often to bowl because 1) Reno sucks and 2) it’s near impossible to get to Reno from…

Wife and I were on a cruise that stopped in New Brunswick, and so the one thing I wanted to see was this candlepin bowling I’ve always heard about. We had to trek quite a ways from all the touristy cruise port shit, until we stumbled upon this very nondescript shopping cent[re] with candlepin bowling! And so, inside,…

Since you’re in the industry, I imagine you must’ve been to that insane cathedral of bowling in Reno? I was there for work last year and was bored out of my mind stumbling around sad and shitty downtown Reno randomly until I slipped into that building. Holy shit I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was practically all alone…

Haven’t really thought about it lately, but do people no longer use the term “Bowling Alley” anymore? Do the corporates fear it echoes too many memories of a sinister time or something?