Yeah, I suppose — it’s just that I’ve been obsessed with trying to get a contrabass clarinet forever, and even the shitted-up ones on Ebay are all listed for no cheaper than $3000 .. maybe the sellers are all delusional, but there’s never any “deals” .. then again that ain’t your typical middle school band instrument..

Well... I mean... c’mon, there’s gotta be at least Ben Carson and maybe Herman Cain?

When I was a kid, the TGI Friday’s we used to go to had a big fucking tuba mounted on the wall above a couple of tables, and I remember the bell always had this thick layer of dust on top of it ... so, two thoughts:

“Sad!” = Donald Trump proves himself to be a trendsetter once again!

Well, let me tell you my little tale... I wasn’t quite a newcomer, but was at a local “online education” company for maybe a year until these corporate goons came along and bought the owner out for a cool $49m. So now, the staff (there was maybe 30 of us) were going to become employees of this super-stereotypically…

“-1!”

This is the first time I ever clicked on a Sponsored Post (morbid curiosity as to how Miller Lite could be artistically woven into an article about music festivals), and the results didn’t disappoint! A casual generic throwaway sentence at the very end that could’ve beem tacked onto virtually any other article:

Here’s the funny thing: 3rd Eye Blind is most known for that horrible song “Semi-Charmed Life” with that terrible hook (“Doot doot doot! Dooty doot doot...!”) and I bet all these dummies who wanted to hear their favorite mainstream Adult Contemporary song probably had no idea what that song is about — I’ll never…

I see your airplane disaster movie and raise you this bad boy:

Ishtar on an infinite loop!

How many NYC rats were killed on 9/11? I’m counting rats that were in the building, or rats living right below, or in the surrounding sewers.

Wife and I were on a cruise that stopped in New Brunswick, and so the one thing I wanted to see was this candlepin bowling I’ve always heard about. We had to trek quite a ways from all the touristy cruise port shit, until we stumbled upon this very nondescript shopping cent[re] with candlepin bowling! And so, inside,…

Since you’re in the industry, I imagine you must’ve been to that insane cathedral of bowling in Reno? I was there for work last year and was bored out of my mind stumbling around sad and shitty downtown Reno randomly until I slipped into that building. Holy shit I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was practically all alone…

Haven’t really thought about it lately, but do people no longer use the term “Bowling Alley” anymore? Do the corporates fear it echoes too many memories of a sinister time or something?

“They only have four officers working the event because the Lynx have such a pathetic draw.”

Television? Mmmyes, I more fancy the Williams sisters from behind the Royal Box at Centre Court..

Just for frame of reference:

The USOC are about as insane as the NFL when it comes to companies (re: small mom & pop bars) daring to mention the hallowed name “SuperBowl” in any advertising.

What about conversational topics? Would, say, NBA off-season trade rumor talk, for example, appear to be pandering ? Even if you know your shit, besides the obvious (politics, Al Sharpton, etc) are there topics that are generally off-limits for a white fellow to bring up in trying to have friendly cookout conversation?

...rolled in tobacco leaves and placed on a bed of well-weathered double-twelve dominoes.