I don't always clean with chamois... but when I do.... I use Dos Equis..

the fact that strangers will go to superhuman lengths to return items to a total stranger, because everyone secretly wants to be Nancy Drew.

All praise The Onion...

NBC avoided the Paralympics so much that they didn't even bother asking Ryan Fucking Seacrest to cover the stats of what's trending!

Damn, NPH has a shit ton of sockpuppet accounts!

Now that's some Goonies shit for you, right there. Though after being untouched for 60 years, with mold and such, I bet it smelled something awful down there...

I swear he looks so much like GWB it's uncanny..

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Contrasted with my one collegiate classmate encounter with a future famous athlete at UNLV, JR Rider, the experience was not so savory; he was kind of a dick...

I do love me some Saints since they won me $10,000 in a ridiculous longshot bet in the year 2000, so I've been loyal to them since, but I will say this: Cajun people are the bottom of the barrel when it comes to class, wit, and intelligence; way worse than your worst Arkansas or WV stereotype... (Sorry Cajunboy if…

"if you dont believe me i dare you to walk your stupid ass into the black hole and make the statement about raider nation that you just did."

Wait a dagburn minute, does that score say Cowboys 24, Giants 17?? Here, boy, there must be some gunk on ma glasses, give 'em a wipe 'er two, will ya?

Hmm, y'know, I thought long and hard about this, and at home in NJ I think -4 for the Giants is the freaking line of the century. Witten isn't even playing this first game, the G-men are a lock.

"Everybody in sport needs incentive"

That one thing with the crazy nose that lived in the merry go round (which I used to think was really two Lazy Susans on top of each other connected by cut up colored drinking straws) used to scare the shit out of me.

Yes, yes, we should pass on the notion of getting the government out of our lives to the children.... by making them pray about it in school! Ao..

Yeah, but do they sell Axe Body Spray in Tehran?

Next up on SportsCenter, Lorem Ipsum gets ready for their season opener!

Precisely. And here is a still image of the victim shortly before impact...

Yeah... he's, as they say in the industry, a regular chink in the armor...