My wife went to Southlake Carroll but yet she was not at all into highschool Football, as evidenced by her dismissive indifference to the fact that Kris Brown (kicker for Houston Texans for a decade) was her classmate.

Yess'm. But there's not much irony there because it is actually south of a lake as the name implies (Lake Grapevine) .. Dallas is in another county (but technically Southlake is northwest of Dallas)... Ao.

Does that mean that we'll have to hear that fucking Dr. Who sixteen billion times more than necessary?

Man, if I didn't know better, I'd think these caricatures you paint of Minnesota folk are as if they're Texans. ..and I live in Texas. So, I think it must be safe to assume that every state has their Cletuses?

Certainly the royal security detail weren't able to frisk and weapon-check all those douchebags bopping around at the Wynn Party Pool, so he absolutely put himself at risk being so accessible like that.

"Yeah, but who on that team is the real Chink in the armor?"

But then I heard on za news that they wanted to put one on Staten Island .. not sure if they were vying to be the world's largest, but why the hell not, if given the chance :[]

Yes. Seriously, that is the one reasonable way to do it — unless the cops somehow have authorization to put up some huge dragnet and ensnare all the 100s of participants in a huge elaborate checkpoint.

I thought that exact same thing, or, barring 10,000 people who look like him, just get about 100 people all to don ski masks, then everybody breaks free at once scattering in every which direction. The cops wouldn't have probable cause to detain each one of them and unmask them... it'd be ... "brill"!

Really not impressed + "Whateverrrr..."

I kinda wanna hear more of your story if you are inclined to continue...

How you like them Big Apples?

William Van Landingham!

I heard that Oregon was the only state (at some point in the 1990s) where one could actually bet on high school football. Is that actually true?

I never went to camp, but my neighbor up the street (the other NY ex-patriot family in our Texas neighborhood) would always disappear for the entire summer — only to hear upon his return (from some camp in upstate NY) the newest shit that the 12-year-olds are saying that 12-year-olds aren't supposed to know about... …

We'd spend all morning listening to America's Top 40 and talking about tits or reading Truly Tasteless Jokes instead

And because Rio shares a time zone with the eastern seaboard, we won't have to deal with those awfully aggravating tape delays.

When I was in high school I dated this girl from the kountry (10 miles north of me, haw.. but what a difference 10 miles make!) .. and she worked at Dairy Queen. She told me they had a "Dairy Queen Olympics" where they have all sorts of "events" like.. um... fastest draw of a dipped cone, stupid shit like that. …

Holy shit, you ain't kiddin' about the names, it's uncanny:

"Yeah, gimmie all the menstrual cycles of all the WNBA players..."