Remember the Hey Mon! skit from In Living Color, where the various Wayans would play Jamaican family members that would hold 16 jobs at once ("Yes, I'm the waiter, I'm also the cook, the janitor, the bartender, the valet, etc")? .. At the time, I felt that gave Jamaicans an admirable typecasting as hardworking people,…

Thousands of years? Maybe if you count fig leaves? But effective condoms that prevent pregnancy and disease couldn't possibly have been around even in the 1800s with the crude way they extrapolated rubber back then...

Essentially, if you will, he's more the poor man's Ryan Seacrest...

I don't know how much TV time you get on Death Row, but the last time this fellow was able to watch a Cowboys game as a free man, Quincy Carter was QB for the Cowboys.

Was holding out hope that he'd serenade the cop with "Anyyyywayyy the winnnnd blowwwws..." when they opened the door, but alas. Next time.

Nitpick: @2:30 he missed the little piano riff that leads in to the "bom bom bom bom BOM BOM!" .. but all is forgiven, he makes up for it at the chorus...

"Clark released a statement, saying he has personally apologized to the ball boy, and swearing to never again use those words in any context."

Didn't it host the Orlando Magic basketball scheme?

Sidebar: Is baldness required when applying to be part of the Secret Service detail — purportedly so they will focus 100% on the president instead of constantly teasing their hair? Discuss.

"Rollllll that beautiful boob footage........"

For what it's worth, he does encapsulate perfectly the textbook shit-eating grin a number of times in case anyone needs to see it illustrated...

Just a semantic observation, but isn't the home team almost always on the right side of the on-screen score? Or is Soccer/Fox/Canada somehow different? :[]

(trying to work in a tipped pass into a pun but simply cannot make it happen)

I think he's one of the SNL head writers :[]

The pee issue is valid but can be easily solved with some Depends® ... however, what I'm wondering is how he can go 10+ hours with his knees bent the entire time and the inability to outstretch his arms. That would be pure torture, I imagine.

During the 2008 Olympics, some select events were available for view online (though I think they were archived, not streamed live) and I'll never forget this girl they had doing the play-by-play for archery, it was seriously the most hilarious thing I've ever listened to. The matchup were two fellows, a Korean vs a…

Weeeel, it shouldn't be his address for long :[] ...

Well, at least they took a shot at it..

At long last, "it was the wind!" can now be used as an excuse for bad performance in bowling. ..

Damn, that guy is amazing at recreating perfect 1970s cartoon stylings...