I have to believe these people taste worse than regular people. Just fat and spray tan. 

To be fair, his former teammates did warn everyone if your open and you’re not ready for it, he’ll hit you in the face with it.

My team is the team that got fucking thumped on Saturday but even then fuck this shit.

Another variant of his only take, this time without any argument whatsoever.

I’m not even a huge fan of MLS, but mannnn, fuck off with the tone of this article.

Jesus is helping Drew. God still hates the Vikings. 

We are all Titans fans this morning.

Honestly their friendship is a little adorable since they always sit next to each other at functions they attend, I just feel bad for the spouse who ends up having to sit next to trump.

Um... Simply saying “Thank you” isn’t an option?

Whoa, succulent rights dude!

Truly the Bushest of Leagues.

Damn 39! He looks like a failed attempt at cloning Orson Welles

Ironically I feel MORE inclined to use anti animal language after reading PETA’s post.

So if I keep using these “animalist” phrases...

THANK YOU! I was dying to know the story behind that score, and no one could tell it like the Assmaster.

Sorry, guy—the Lions just didn’t ass it up enough this week. Fortunately, this Sunday is another day to ass away.

Wrong. The Lions are the ass team of the week and will continue to retain that title until further notice. 

You would have to call your local Hyundai store and be like “Hey, Azera lotta deals on those cars?”

Average car buyer: IT’S A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY WITH THE AUTOMAKERS AND BIG OIL TO MAKE FUEL MILEAGE BAD!!

I recently parked next to a new F150 and, while getting in my car, realized my roof is the same height as the F150's hood. Its headlights are the same height as my rear window. This is getting out of hand.