Durant traveled anyway.

I’ll chip in for your courtside seats if you promise to make this a reality.

Let’s take a deep breath, everyone. My gut tells me that we Cavs fans have a lot to look forward to before these Finals are over. Like, maybe Draymond Green gets punched.

The saddest part is that he will be able to recall each of these moments perfectly for the rest of his life. Meanwhile J.R. Smith can’t remember the score for more than three seconds.

The game on the court is not worse that it’s ever been. That’s a crazy take.

Hi! Dan from Deadspin here. I have some information to add so the Jezebel commenters can make an informed decision.

Are Deadspin writers required to have an illogical fear of the sweet creamy sangy nectar that is mayonnaise?

Phil would have better weed.

And a crocodile needs to bite Kevin Durant’s arms off.

This is how annoying the Warriors dominance is. I’m now excited because your post has me hoping that maybe the Warriors won’t win the title in 2021-2022.

Secretly hoping to watch LeBron go supernova, crush the Warriors, and retire after realizing that he expended every last ounce of basketball ability he had left in the ultimate mic drop.

I dunno. Jerky still sounds like a common bathroom activity.

I’m calling BS. Saw this cat 6 months ago and he might have weighed 15lbs soaking wet. Not gonna say its PEDS but its PEDS.

Yeah no, that’s a round boy.

Man, that guy banging his wife had a pretty shitty day.

Holy Shit!

Yeah, good pee content, but it doesn’t make up for a complete lack of poo content.

I guess Yankees fans are good now.

Hahahahahaha...sorry, let me catch my breath. With a 12, nigh 13 year old Audi you are basically buying yourself the scary Victorian house at the end of the street that everyone marvels at but you know people get murdered and turned into wall art in there. I’m telling you from experience, do NOT go in there.

Male pattern baldness reduces my instruction to “just do the best you can.”