can’t reach the voting machine from one knee

I’m thinking it’s not shade but a well executed, multi-level burn.

Nah, Trump sensed a draft come into the room, so he was dodging it.

So Donald Trump’s son in law’s newspaper got Jezebel to hate Dave Chappelle over Hillary Clinton jokes taken out of context from a show they weren’t there for?

PUPPER PARTY

To have deserved being in this position, I can only assume that Huma was Hitler, Pol Pot, Mrs. O’Leary’s cow, and Donald Trump in her past lives.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WITH THIS GUY.

I enjoy this Hillary costume:

True Love: Sponsored by Welch’s Grape Juice — We’re the purpliest.

It spins the toilet in the other direction, mais oui.

My wife’s moisturizer is full of the same stuff.

Her heart is killing the Great Barrier Reef

this instant calibration between souls, as if my settings and her settings were perfectly optimized for maximum compatibility. two lost algorithms in this chatbox we call life. she is the ideal parameter for our private recursive function named Love().

Rick is the reason Glenn is dead.

This is one of mine.

I think Trump’s megalomania and narcissism are the roots of his evil, not necessarily stupidity. He fully believes that whatever he says is the truth because he can not possibly be wrong. That’s also why he will never fully accept losing the election without claiming that somebody else was the reason for it.   

THIS list is great. like, buy your baby ONE cutiewootie outfit for Things that Need Niceness. do onsies otherwise. everything is going to get filthy and that’s fine. save money for diapers.

So so true. I have a lot of parent friends so we will be lucky to get hand-me-downs and to get some real talk on NEED vs WANT. We’re having the first grandkid for either set of grandparents, I just have to figure out how to get them to give us the stuff we NEED not just the cute stuff they want to give us.