For that, you have to wrap the couch in foil. Then Tom Cruise can’t sense its presence, and will not jump on it.

I genuinely feel bad for John Travolta, it honestly sounds like he's stuck in a cult he can never escape, imagine having internalized hatred that intense, he needs so much therapy (real therapy mind, not whatever the fuck scientology does)

I just feel bad for Travolta. Someone get him away from Scientology.

I had it done myself, on the advice of my doctor. I already had a partial test and found out that I have a mutation of the MTHFR gene, which makes me unable to process folate and several other B vitamins- in fact, it’s toxic to me, and a build-up of unmethylated folic acid can cause a bunch of health problems, all of…

I have followed my feelings. And my feelings have followed my penis.

I mean, Pirlo does already have a vineyard, so they can just hang out there.

I would absolutely watch Buffon and Pirlo in “My Dinner with Andrea.”

Brilliant.

OR...

That ticket is too sexy not to win.

Pirlo/Buffon 2016?

“where McDermott had been living under his birth name.”

Oh, but he’s special. Just ask him. And yes, I’m being facetious.

And apparently could never afford a condom. Dude, you don’t want kids, wrap it up.

He’s no Baldwin, but looking that good isn’t free either! Gotta have that gym membership!

And, sure, there is that gym membership, but only because the one thing people like less than a poor person is a fat poor person; I don’t need to be inventing new reasons for prospective employers to resist me.

You don't need a gym membership to stay thin. Run around the block and do some push ups.

“the custodial parent doesn’t get that chance”

I think this guy is waiting for a decent paying job to fall into his lap.

“Try not to knock her up.” - SO MUCH this.