I shopped Lands’ End, actual catalog and online, like crazy for a good twenty years - for me, husband, the kids, the house. Now I don’t even recognize them. They got rid of my favorite features on their website: “On the Counter” and “Not Quite Perfect,” and that killed it for me. “On the Counter” guaranteed I’d be on…

I have four. Three are girls. They are the meanest bitches ever. Canine Mean Girls.

Wuzzup, East Bay? Say “hi” to my cousin for me. She’s a flautist.

“hit dogs always holler.” How did I grow up in the south and never hear this phrase? I am going to use it every day from now on.

I seriously doubt they would let her go the Kendall route. They seem to actually care about their kids more than themselves.

Or Lee Harvey Oswald Elementary.

I have four rescue horses - one former race horse/polo pony, 2 Arabian geldings (out of the Muscat line), and one 9 year old palomino mare who has been passed from owner to owner because no one wanted to take the time to train her. All were bound for the auction where they would have been picked up by kill buyers and…

A Mexican slaughterhouse if alive, a tallow factory if dead.

“her fashion took down an empire.” No, it didn’t. Love the costumes, though. Read Antonia Frasers’ “Marie Antoinette: The Journey” for some socio-political and historical accuracy.

I haven’t read the books, but I stopped watching the show after a character (don’t want to spoil it by naming them) was bent over a table, about to be raped, and the camera spent an awful long time lingering over the victim’s perfect ass. I’m not squeamish, or anything like that, but that really, really bothered me. I…

Or you can just buy Pirate’s Booty.

My kid had a pilomatrixoma removed in a day surgery yesterday at a childrens’ hospital. He had to have general anesthesia because it was so close to his eye and because he’s 10. Apparently if the kid is over twelve they do it in-office under a local.

I had gential warts in my late teens. The OBGYN did a freezing procedure as a same-day surgery and sent me home with NO instructions or warnings about what might happen (early 90's). I assumed the warts came off when he “froze” them. When I went #1 the morning of the next day (which burned so badly I cried and…

Modern embalming, I should clarify. The Egyptians were obviously serious over-achievers in this area.

My friend went to the San Francisco College of Mortuary Science when it was still open. She’s not “book smart,” so I helped with with all her papers. I also ended up reading all her textbooks. This disconnection from and being freaked out (for lack of better phrasing) by death is a twentieth century phenomenon. Until…

Don’t be so judgmental. I had a cat for 18 years; almost half my life. I had him through singlehood, marriage and kids, graduate school, career change - he was my little buddy. He died last January. I had some of his cremains made into a glass bead. I wore it once, then put it in my dresser drawer and forgot about it.…

The La Brea woman’s remains were taken off display at the George C. Page museum 2004 out of respect for indigenous people. They now display a replica of her remains. I saw her before 2004, and honestly, I remember thinking even then it was kind of creepy and voyeuristic to do this without her permission (even though,…

Gunne Sax was THE SHIT. I still have 3 of them from high school in storage. I will never forgive my mom for giving away the long pink and lace satin number I wore to 8th grade graduation.

I’m wondering if he can take little Huggie Bear along to the Olympics? Every team needs a mascot.

A couple of weeks ago, I spent a week of afternoons at my 10 year old’s first basketball tournament. In the championship game, four technicals. That’s right - FOUR. Sportsmanship is for dorks, apparently.