Word.

Is it wrong that I want to be the cheese in a Pirlo/Buffon sammich?

I’m curious (and feel free to tell me to myob), was this part of medical screening or something you had done yourself? It sounds interesting and like info I’d like to know, since I only know one of my parents.

Must be a pretty goddamned big lamb for him to be “on” it.

Seriously - Reading some of these comments, and about how men are locked into unwanted fatherhood because women got knocked up without the man’s consent or knowledge - are you fucking kidding me? You have a choice to put a condom on your dick, just like you have a choice WHERE you put your dick. (Not you,…

Not that I spend a lot of time defending celebrities, but RJ (yes, he really goes by that) is a long-time friend of my family. He had nothing to do with Natalie’s death. But it’s great that you feel so comfy calling someone you’ve never met a murderer based on what? Internet gossip?

I’m old enough to be his, um, older sister, and I’d bone him like I owned him.

This is what I’m thinking. Can’t feel comfortable swearing, talk about hoes, etc., in front of Bible-Thumper and Bible-Thumper, Jr.

Trump University. It’s yuuugggge.

Even though my kids have been out of diapers for a good five years now, I still coupon like crazy and when I can find diapers really cheap, I’ll buy them. There’s ALWAYS someone who can use them, I figure.

WTF? One of my colleagues gets the same thing on her evaluations: “Professor B has sweaty armpits.” Seriously? Morons.

A fourteen year old boy has no business in a locker room full of grown men full-time. He should be in school, gawking at pubescent boobs and learning how to properly surf the Internet for porn.

Yep, JRA - typically 8th graders are 13 going-on 14. Except the kids on the teams my kids play against; they all shave and have full beards.

Bring paper, no party.

I initially learned this superstition in regards to motorcycles. The bikers I learned it from were adamant about NO green anywhere, including cars. No one could ever tell me where it came from, only to live by it.

I know California grizzlies are extinct here, but I didn’t know they were also just generically called “brown bears.” Good info to know.

Took my kid to our local IHOP last week after his basketball game, because IHOP is the shit when you’re ten. Since the last time we’d been there, they’d raised the drink prices, with sodas now $3.89. HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD! The small orange juice is also now $3.89, with the large $4.89. Fuck you, IHOP; Kids Eat Free…

Oh, shit, now I have to figure out what kinds of bears are around here.

Thank god I always resisted the urge to blow a koala.

Yeah, just like dogs, it activates their prey drive. Now with bears, it’s the opposite: you roll up into a ball and try to be as still as possible. Or, as I prefer to say, curl up and kiss my ass goodbye...