My fave is "irregardless." I love the snickers I have to suppress when some colleague with a PhD. from some REALLY IMPORTANT UNIVERSITY busts out with an "irregardless" in a department meeting.

I warn my students about that one the first day of classes, and then proceed to tell them how my grandpa died the Friday before a semester started, and about my cousin who was killed by a drunk driver in the middle of the semester, and if they want to lie about dead relatives they'd better bring proof, 'cuz Miz…

Mo'ne's got mad skills.

I was coming here to make that joke. Thanks for beating me to it, and doing a far better job than I could have!

Yep. It's called a shotgun.

Word. I live on a farm, and even wethers can be mean and rough as fuck. The nastiest caprine of all, however, is our herd queen, Scottie. She will cut a bitch just for shits and giggles.

My mother is the worst person who has ever lived. Her third husband is as interesting as a wall. When they were in California a few years back, they wanted us to meet them somewhere on their way back from Southern California to Oklahoma, so they could see my kids. (Because I somehow turned out to be a great person,…

Grief can lead to near-psychotic rage that comes seemingly out of nowhere. I've had it happen. It's scary as fuck. Glad they're all okay.

But it's such a GOOD pun, homes! Be proud!

We have coyotes that live in the orchards surrounding our property. We are high on a bluff, so we can look down and see the motherfuckers staring up and circling our property. I hate coyotes. I want them all to die.

Holy Mary, Mother of God! Those were the shows to end all shows. My first boyfriend went to one of them. I was so jealous.

I so want to run my fingers through that thick, lush rug. Ohhhhh! Daddy!!!

Excellent vocab and punning, mi amigo.

Word.

He's trying to find some Sparknotes...

We drive cars with large engines because we like to go "vroom-vroom!" Now I'm off to start the engine in my 66 Mustang and let it idle for an hour...

The one with the huge teeth? And the five-head? If that's what they have at Hahvard, I'm fully comfortable sending my kids to a state school.

Because of that movie, I have never owned an electric knife. (Shivers!)

It was ALL a dream!

My paranoid, absolutely backed-by-no evidence conspiracy theory is this: Kris has been threatening to out Bruce for years, and they came some kind of agreement where she would publicly "support" him, provided he played along and made it a TV event. Or maybe that's just what I want to be true.