I'm a white woman with extremely thick, curly hair. I typically don't brush it out because if I do, I end up looking like I have an unshorn-alpaca butt sitting on my head. Because I don't brush it out, and only comb it out every day or every other day right after I wash it, it mats and tangles into a freakin' mess. …

I don't pay close enough attention to remember any other crotch-grabs, but this really looks more like a gentle, sweeping motion.

My husband is very shy, so he usually does it in the shower after everyone else in the house have gone to bed. BUT if he actually did do this in bed next to me, I'd hop on finish him off.

Only "the most shadiest" things.

Here comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand

You're welcome. If you're ever in California and in need of a supper blow, I can hook you up...

Apples. No apostrophe needed.

I have to give my husband a supper blow for his birthday tomorrow. Yay, Colts!

I have to make occasional trips to UC Davis' Large Animal Hospital for various critters. It makes me furious seeing what people do to horses. There was a stallion with a broken leg in a sling and in a stall for FIVE months. For god's sake, that's cruel.

I have a 33 year old thoroughbred mare who started on the track, then spent many years as a polo pony until some rich asshat dumped her at the polo grounds. She's a fantastic horse and a great pet.

It took my husband ONE DAY with my mother, at a funeral, to see that what I was telling him all that time was true. He totally supports me having no relationship with her, and not letting our children anywhere near her. Honestly, they don't even seem to realize they lack a grandma because they have my husband's…

Yeah, when this happens to me, I explain to them how I got the 1/2 inch wide, 3 inch long scar under my eyebrow.

ISIS.

What's even worse is these women that get them on their toenails. Why, for the love of god and all that is holy, would you want to make your toenails look longer? So. Fucking. Gross.

This mahfugger is truly hardcore.

Yep, same here. In my case it was only $30,000, but still. You can never look at your parent the same way again.

Jim Tomsula's favorite movie is "Beaches."

My high school principal was Dick Cox. He was also a dead ringer for Don Knotts.

Looks like a DIY highlight job. Looks like she cuts her own bangs, too. None of those "luxurious" $6 beauty college haircuts for her!

Then we can DEFINITELY be bff's. Are you single? I know so many hot, single gay guys!