Only if you promise to stick nothing other than penises in my vagina.

Other than my OBGYN's speculum once a year, nothing goes in my vagina but dicks. No fingers, no vegetables, no tampons, not even dildos. I should shave "Penises Only" in my bush hair with a downward arrow, just to be safe if I get too drunk.

"One battery and three coins." Was someone trying to build a transistor radio in her twat?

Maybe he's sending us a message! From (soft) Rock n' Roll heaven!

"Saw my old lover in the grocery store...snow was falling, Christmas eve..." (sniff-sniff)

My thoughts exactly. They both give no fucks.

This is what finally freaked me the fuck out about Facebook, even though I knew the actual level of privacy was negligible. I replied to a friend's post with "he loves his soft rock." Thirty minutes later, an ad pops up for Dan-fucking-Fogelberg. Thank you, late, great Dan Fogelberg, for being the final FB straw. …

"lot." As in lot lizard?

I cannot imagine a worse name for picking up chicks. Klapprodt. Actually I just did. King Klapprodt.

Not that it really matters I guess, but is the recipient of the salad-tossing male or female? I see kind of a soft, round ass cheek, suggesting female, but I HAVE seen some pretty soft man ass in my lifetime.

WTF IS that thing, medical professionals/Web MDers?

Professor LlamasisCool concurs - Billy Clyde Puckett is correct. If the wife cheats on you, whether you know it or not, you're cuckolded. In Renaissance drama and comedy, a cuckold will often have horns appearing to grow from his head; a bit of dramatic irony suggesting to the audience he's been played for a foo but…

I have two formerly wild burros. They will rip inch-wide strips of flesh off each other's bodies, then kick the shit out of each other with both front and back legs, and throw some gnarly biting in just for giggles. And they're gelded. Imagine what they would do if they had their balls. Do not fuck with equines.

You should see what our little cat Rosie did to my son's foot this morning. Completely on accident, after being chased by our dog. Shredded the top of the kid's foot like a block of cheese. Cats have a million way to main, torture, and kill.

I live along the dry, chaffed taint and I concur.

Exactly. I don't know how it works in Illinois but in California they can can two or three weeks because you have to wait for a court hearing. Many victims are afraid to go to the hearing. It's all about ways the stalker can control the victim.

Exactly. Having lived in California 25 years, and having shared Thanksgiving with friends and family who range from Vegan to Turducken-ordering, I have never ONCE heard of goddamned persimmon bread.

Twenty years as a college professor not good enough for you? How about four degrees, all of them with honors, one of them from Cal?

Literature.

Please explain what's wrong with a Psy.D. - Inquiring minds (or people whose kid is being treated by one) wanna know!