The word you’re looking for is “testerical.”  He is getting testerical here.

and battery!

not enough stars to give

More people should know that!

Great candy article but had too much sprots in it

Here for this.  Deadspin 2.0 gets my dollars.

I now aspire to live my life Vanna White fancy.

California formal is not a thing!  NorCaliformal is where your hoodie and Allbirds are clean.  SoCaliformal is where you wear your most-liked Instagram post.

Great article!  Exactly the kind of thing that keeps me viewing these Deadspin pages.

glad I wasn’t alone on that

I want to know more about your life and where you sit with onomatopoeia.  

Yeah, forgiveness doesn’t mean ignoring wrongs done unto other people, especially without repentance.  If you want to forgive a wrong done to you, that’s forgiveness.  

I like your style.  

This deserves more stars!!!

Liberty Mutual isn’t paying you enough to work this hard, my friend.  We all know that no one pays attention to Liberty Mutual ads unless they are paid to do so.

there are SO MANY Williams who are Liams around now, and they are all toddlers.  Liam is going to be the Chad of 2037.

The only person I was mad about not getting a wedding gift from was the friend from college who RSVP’d yes, didn’t show up, and didn’t even call to apologize.  He also worked at Goldman Sachs, so he clearly just DGAF about our friendship anymore.  We didn’t speak again until we ran into each other at a tiki bar five…

I feel like I could really annoy Jack even more than he already is with his peeve of calling actors by character names. I not only do that, but I also refer to lead singers of bands just by band names and CEOs of companies by their company names. When I do celeb gossip, I’m talking about how Legolas’s model ex-wife is…

I haven’t been, so take this for what it’s worth, but if you want to pretend to be in Star Wars, I bet you’re the just the kind of person to enjoy being there.

Depending on where in the Bay you live, the traffic getting there is just appalling.